Author Archives: thedvrfiles

I Want to Give Birth To Halle Berry’s Baby

Posted on June 10, 2014 by thedvrfiles

Man! Life is TOUGH in the 21st Century! In order to make money, you have to set your alarm and wake up in the morning and go to this thing called a “job” and do things like write emails and … Continue reading →

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How to Avoid a Kardashian in New York

Posted on June 3, 2014 by thedvrfiles

One of the many things I do for my trillions of readers is educate. I don’t like to brag, but I consider it my calling to instruct you all on the ways of life. And today I am feeling particularly … Continue reading →

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Goodbye Alice Goodbye

Posted on June 2, 2014 by thedvrfiles

Well this is sad. Ann B. Davis, the actress who played the iconic Alice on The Brady Bunch, passed away yesterday at the ripe old age of 88. I know what you’re thinking, and don’t you dare say it, because I … Continue reading →

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Dylan Throws Shade at Donna Martin

Posted on May 14, 2014 by thedvrfiles

I can’t believe I missed this. Last week on my Bible/muse people.com, Mr. Luke Perry, the man I was supposed to marry 20 years ago, declared that reality TV was trash. Mr. McKay, who has grown up to be an … Continue reading →

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Women Who Should Not Cast Stones: The Atlanta Howives

Posted on May 7, 2014 by thedvrfiles

Confesh: In addition to being beautiful, charming, and great at parties, I love trash TV on occasion. Yes, I’m down with Breaking Bad, The Sopranos, Game of Thrones, blah blah blah (that’s what you write when you have to hurry to get to work. … Continue reading →

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Tori Spelling Continues Her Campaign to be the Worst Person in the World

Posted on May 6, 2014 by thedvrfiles

In 1991, the most offensive thing Tori Spelling did was wear this dress as Donna Martin at the West Beverly Spring Dance. Twenty plus years later, the most offensive thing she does is exist, and unfortunately for the world, she … Continue reading →

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Prince George is Giving Violet Affleck a Run For Her Money in the Cute Kid Department

Posted on April 28, 2014 by thedvrfiles

Goo goo ga ga! Bloopy bloop bah gah! Koo ka laka mooga! What’s this, you ask? Did Liz lose her capacity for beautiful language? Did she have a stroke? Nope, I have learned a new language. The language of babies. … Continue reading →

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True sTori: Blagh!

Posted on April 23, 2014 by thedvrfiles

I am going to come out and say it. Tori Spelling is the WORST. Yes I know those are fighting words especially when we live in a world with this: And this: And, yes, this: Tori, as you should know, … Continue reading →

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Martha Stewart’s Grandkids Like Caviar Because of Course They Do

Posted on April 8, 2014 by thedvrfiles

You know, I like Martha Stewart. She’s a great mix of high/low after my own heart. The highs include being a bazillionaire, hanging out with great influential minds, and building her own company. The lows include going to prison. I … Continue reading →

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227 Forever!

Posted on March 31, 2014 by thedvrfiles

Oh my God kids. The most amazing thing happened in the WORLD today. No, Brandi Glanville did not push LeAnn Rimes off a cliff. Bummer, I know. But this is even better. This morning I took out my checkbook to write … Continue reading →

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