In 1991, the most offensive thing Tori Spelling did was wear this dress as Donna Martin at the West Beverly Spring Dance.

Gone with the Wind meets West Bev.

Twenty plus years later, the most offensive thing she does is exist, and unfortunately for the world, she likes to constantly remind us of this.

Tori currently stars on the Lifetime (of course) docuseries True Tori where she whores pours out her heart as she discusses the impact her skeazy husband Dean “Deano” McDermott’s cheating behavior has had on her and her family. And I say “stars” because home girl is working this camera harder than she ever did for her role as Laurel Lewisohn in the greatest telefilm of all time Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?

I don’t about danger but I’d sleep with him.

In the latest episode of True Tori which airs tonight, Tori reveals that she was with her 40567 kids–actually 4, but probably 40563 nannies–the night Dean dipped his pen into another woman’s inkwell. Wow, this sounds familiar. I think he did the same thing when he met Tori back in 2005 and was married to another woman! But carry on, Tori.

I just think it’s hilarious that this is treated like some goddamn revelation, like Tori deserves an award while being a parent. I mean, if Dean wasn’t with the kids, doesn’t it make sense that Tori was with them?

Donna Martin would be so ashamed. I mean, we all know how much her mother Felice’s cheating affected her!