Monthly Archives: June 2013

Cameron and Linden Are Married. WTF is Right!

Wow, my life has been completely turned upside down. Cameron from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and Linden from The Killing are married. This is a case where many a f— are given because I had no f—ing clue they were a couple, … Continue reading

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If Cher Could Turn Back Time, She’d Spend Another Night With Tom Cruise

Madonna, Jennifer Lopez, and Demi Moore may like their men young, but they are AMATEURS next to the Queen Bee of all things that matter. Yes, I am talking about Cher. What, Demi, you married 15-years-younger Ashton Kutcher? That’s cool … Continue reading

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How Can We Cool Off? I Have An Idea–Let’s Call 1-800-THE-POOL!

I’ve finished drinking all my Sunny D and I’m STILL not refreshed. What the heck am I going to do? I want to have fun in the sun this weekend AND stay cool. My dad’s kind of cheap so he’s … Continue reading

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I Own Condiments Older than James Woods’ New Girlfriend

I am SO not one to be judgmental, but James Woods is kind of gross. I used to like James Woods. He’s from Rhode Island, like my mom. He went to MIT, so he’s a nerd. He was in The … Continue reading

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No Hockey Tonight? No Problem!

Ughhhhh. I am so sad. I was planning on going to a bar tonight to watch the Boston Bruins capture the Stanley Cup. Instead, the dream was cut short Monday night, when the Chicago Blackhawks won Game 6 and ended … Continue reading

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Hypothetical Situation: I Have One Week to Live and Have All of These Movies to See

If blogging were a high school yearbook, please vote me “Most Pathetic” because I have not seen the following iconic movies: 1) Caddyshack 2) Airplane! 3) Die Hard 4) Police Academy 5) Gone With the Wind 6) Fantasia 7) Blazing … Continue reading

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Yum! You Are Hungry. Which TV Restaurant Do You Choose?

Sometimes you just want a snack. Where do you go, if your choices are restaurants on television? Let’s discuss. 1) Los Pollos Hermanos, Breaking Bad Clearly one of New Mexico’s finest fast food establishments, Los Pollos Hermanos (Spanish-speaking friends–is this even … Continue reading

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Jodie Sweetin is the Modern Day Elizabeth Taylor, Except Without the Talent or Violet Eyes

How rude! Stephanie Tanner is ending her THIRD marriage. Home girl is 31. Jodie Sweetin–the actress who portrayed Stephanie–is creating a full house of ex-husbands and children. After the show wrapped in 1995, she battled a meth addiction before settling down with … Continue reading

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God is Real

For all of you doubters out there in the galaxy, I can tell you with 100% certainty that God exists. How can I be sure, you ask. Well, Homeboy (God) answered my prayers. Paul Giamatti is going to be on Downton … Continue reading

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Summer is Here!

It’s the first day of summer. Yahoooo! HOWEVER, be wary of those runaway teenagers. There are over a million of them on the streets of America! What, too soon? The song was released 20 years ago, dorks.

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