Hot Catholic of Lent: Day 2!

One of my strong points is I’m really up on current events. I can name four of Elizabeth Taylor’s sevens husbands without googling, I know the top grossing film of 1993, and June 25, 2009 is the day we lost two icons (including one who was  the Hot Catholic of Lent: Day 2! LAST YEAR!).

LarryLiz

But Husband # 7, the stud known as Larry Fortensky, is the only one who mattered.

I’m not trying to brag, it’s just that I’m on top of the social pulse. And a few months ago I saw this movie called The Lady From Shanghai on the network TCM. I think TCM stands for The Current Movies. Anyway, this really talented guy named Orson Welles wrote, directed AND starred in it. I’m telling you, he’s going to go somewhere! He’s kind of cute too!

OrsonWelles

I love a man wearing a tie.

But Orson isn’t Catholic so he’s not the hot Catholic of Lent: Day 2! No, that honor goes to his costar and then wife, Margarita Carmen Cansino. You may know her better as Rita Hayworth!

RitaHayworth

Stunning!

Rita might quite possibly be one of the most beautiful women on the planet. She was married five times, including once to a PRINCE! I’m sure she went to confession a LOT.

So congrats, Rita, on earning one of Catholicism’s greatest honors! There are 40 Hot Catholics of Lent, and you’re one of them!

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Hot Catholic of Lent: Day 1!

Hola amigos. It’s been a few months since I’ve written. No, I have not hibernated. Yes, I am still watching TV. I’ve also been playing a LOT of Candy Crush, and that sugar rush has kept me away from a lot of my goals.

CandyCrushgirl

She’s sweet enough to give you diabetes!

But lucky for you today is Ash Wednesday, and in addition to having ashes on my head I also have a re-commitment to writing! And yes I know I say that every year! But I mean it this time – I’m going to renew my vows to blogging the way a real housewife renews her wedding vows! That ALWAYS works!

Anyway, along those lines I’m going to revive my popular series (ie my mom read it) from last year’s Lenten season, Hot Catholics of Lent! Every day, or let’s be honest, ALMOST every day, I will feature a hot Catholic of Lent! And who better to begin it than an absolute ICON of the screen, Jack Nicholson!

JackNicholsonCuckoo

According to wikipedia, Jack was raised Catholic. I don’t know if he’s still practicing, but he definitely has sinned a lot like any good Catholic. He cheated on his long time partner Anjelica Huston (how DARE he) with Rebecca Broussard, an actress who has no credits since 2000. Jack might not be considered hot in the traditional sense anymore, but he was smoking back in the day. I would have flown over the cuckoo’s nest to be with him.

Who will be tomorrow’s Hot Catholic of Lent??? Stay tuned!

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2017 Emmy Predictions!

OMG I’m baaaaaack! And here are my Emmy predictions 15 minutes before the ceremony begins.

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Limited Series or Movie

Who Will Win: Robert De Niro, The Wizard of Lies
Who Should Win: Riz Ahmed, The Night Of

Riz Ahmed

I would spend every “night of” my life with him!

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Limited Series or Movie

Who Will Win: Reese Witherspoon, Big Little Lies
Who Should Win: Nicole Kidman, Big Little Lies

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series

Who Will Win: Anthony Anderson, black-ish
Who Should Win: Anthony Anderson, black-ish

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series

Who Will Win: Kevin Spacey, House of Cards
Who Should Win: Sterling K. Brown, This Is Us

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series

Who Will Win: Claire Foy, The Crown
Who Should Win: Claire Foy, The Crown

 

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series

Who Will Win: Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep
Who Should Win: Lily Tomlin, Grace and Frankie

Outstanding Comedy Series

Who Will Win: Veep
Who Should Win: Silicon Valley

Outstanding Drama Series

Who Will Win: Better Call Saul
Who Should Win: This Is Us

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Hot Catholic of Lent: Day 15!

Believe it or not, The DVR Files is about TV. Sometimes I get sidetracked by things like Jon Hamm’s package. Who can blame me?

Jon Hamm pants

You’re welcome my fellow pervs.

I also get sidetracked by guilt, which is something I attain when I post pics of Jon Hamm’s package. It’s the Catholic in me! What can I say. I’m trying to atone by highlighting Hot Catholics during Lent.

So today’s entry is a brilliant combination of television and faith! I’m currently four episodes into the HBO limited series Big Little Lies and I am obseeessssed. No spoilers please as I know the show just ended. And one of the leading actresses in the show is today’s, I mean Day 15’s, Hot Catholic of Lent.

Yes, I’m talking about Nicole Kidman!

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Apparently she is wearing a wig on the show but I don’t care, she still looks amazing. And because I’m not a shallow person and I don’t ONLY care about people LOOKING hot, I will note that her performance on the show is brilliant – quietly devastating and powerful all at once. Geez, I used a lot of vague adjectives there. But since I’m demanding no spoilers, I’m granting the same favor to you.

Nicole, like fellow Catholic Katie Holmes, is more than Tom Cruise’s ex-wife who escaped the evil clutches of Scientology. She is a talented actress and she’s currently married to a man who may spend more time on his hair she does, Keith Urban. But they seem happy and nice and I love them. Not in a stalker-ish way, but in a fan girl way. TOTALLY different.

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And he’s not afraid to let her wear heels. Take that Tom Cruise!

Sure, I pray Nicole would go back to her crazy red curls, but God has bigger issues than answering my prayers.

Nicolekidman curly.jpg

Dead sexy

So congratulations, Nicole Kidman, for being The DVR Files’ Hot Catholic of Lent: Day 15!

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Hot Catholic of Lent: Day 14!

It’s a Friday during Lent and I have not eaten meat yet today. I say “yet” because last Friday I ate a bacon donut by accident. What can I say? I was on vacation in Colorado. And no, I had not taken a legal puff that gave me the munchies, I was simply forgetful. My mom, who is way more devout than I, ate chicken that night. Hell-bound, we Simones are. So someone please text me at 6p tonight when I’m about to stop at McDonald’s and remind me to order a Filet-O-Fish instead of a Big Mac.

Hamburglar

Send this guy over if you have to.

But this is not about me, this about the Hot Catholic of Lent: Day 14 (albeit 17 days late). And yes, yes, while we have all agreed that it SHOULD be about me because I am the Hot Catholic of Lent, period, we need to give someone else a chance.

LizClock

Duh.

Lately I’ve been DVR’ing old movies airing on TCM. They rock because they don’t have commercials to fast forward through so I save a lot of thumb energy. Classic films and less exercise. A win-win situation. The other day I started watching  the 1952 flick The Quiet Man starring John Wayne, filmed in Ireland. I only got about 45 minutes into it, but I encountered such a beautiful lass that I was all STOP THE PRESSES, DVR Files! We’ve found our Hot Catholic of Lent: Day 14!

Maureen O’Hara!

Maureen O'Hara Quietman

Maureen is a Hot lots of things. Hot Ginger, Hot Hat-Wearer, and Hot Senior Citizen. Here is a picture of her at the 2014 TCM Film Festival when she was 93.

Maureen90

Home girl had good genes, I’ll say. Unfortunately, she died a year and a half later at the ripe old age of 95 on October 24, 2015. I bet she drank a Guinness with the Duke on St. Paddy’s Day in heaven!

So congratulations, my sweet and fiery Irish lass Maureen O’Hara, for being the Hot Catholic of Lent: Day 14!

And seriously, someone text me tonight to remind me not to eat meat.

 

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Hot Catholic of Lent: Day 13!

Oops, I fell behind on my Hot Catholics of Lent again. What a sinner! We have 17 to go till I catch up. I’ve got the faith that I can do it.

So even though today is actually Day 30 of Lent, let’s return to where I left off, Day 13. Are you ready?

The Hot Catholic of Lent: Day 13 is the classic Hollywood hottie Gregory Peck!

GregoryPeck

Many of us fell in love with Peck when he played the honorable lawyer Atticus Finch in the 1962 film adaptation of the beloved 1960 novel To Kill a Mockingbird where he defended an innocent black man in 1930s Alabama. Then author Harper Lee had to ruin the illusion nearly sixty years later when she published her only other novel Go Set a Watchman in 2015. She actually had written the book before Mockingbird though it was set twenty years later in the ’50s. Anyway, it turns out that maybe Atticus was kind of a racist after all. Nooooo! I refuse to read it.

I was so obsessed with the book and movie To Kill A Mockingbird in high school that I was determined to name my first son Atticus. I was going to same my second and third sons Phineas (after a character in the 1959 novel A Separate Peace) and Forrest (after another righteous Southern lawyer, Forrest Bedford, portrayed by Sam Waterston in the 1990s TV show I’ll Fly Away. Then Forrest Gump had to come out and ruin everything).

Luckily, I have no sons.

Gregory Peck passed away in 2003 at the age of 87. This Hot Catholic of Lent definitely has a place in heaven!

 

 

 

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The DVR Files Turns 5 Today!

Today is a great day in history! Pope Francis was elected in 2013. L. Ron Hubbard was born on in 1911, and without him we would not have the TV show Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath which I have not actually watched yet but it’s on the DVR!

LeahReminiLivingDolls

She’ll always be a Living Doll to me.

And most importantly of all, on March 13, 2012, history was made when Liz Simons (that’s me) launched the legendary (in her mind) blog The DVR Files!

Over the years I’ve tackled the subjects that no other journalist will touch:

What can I say? I’m a regular old Nellie Bly.

So happy birthday to The DVR Files! I will accept gifts on its behalf!

 

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Hot Catholic of Lent: Day 12!

These days you can have a famous parent and 100+ followers on Instagram and call yourself a supermodel.

GigiKendall

I’m talking to you Gigi Hadid and Kendall Jenner.

In my day, you actually had to be discovered at McDonald’s (Gisele), at the airport (Kate Moss), or in the local paper (Cindy Crawford).

And if you were the Hot Catholic of Lent: Day 12, you were discovered riding a horse in Miami.

Yes, I am talking about Christy Turlington!

ChristyTurlington

Christy was one of the great supermodels of the ’90s along with Naomi, Linda, and Cindy. And she was not one to rely on her beauty – in 1994 she entered New York University and graduated with a Bachelors in 1999. She continued her education at Columbia where she sought a Masters in Public Health. She married Ed Burns in 2003 and they have two children together. I’ve had friends spot them at church in New York which warms my heart.

Still striking at 48, Turlington has long been an activist for humanitarian causes, working with CARE and founding Every Mother Counts in 2011.

And while I am super impressed by her good deeds, I will admit as a shallow person I love her most for her appearance in George Michael’s famous 1990 video for his hit song “Freedom!” Yes I said it.

So congratulations, Christy, for being the Hot Catholic of Lent: Day 12!

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Hot Catholic of Lent: Day 11!

One of the beauties of being a Hot Catholic of Lent is you don’t even have to be alive or real to take the honor. You can be dead or fictional! Day’s 11 Hot Catholic falls into the former category (dead) but his imprint is timeless.

Giacomo Puccini!

Giacomo Puccini

For all you uncultured plebes, Puccini was a supremely talented Italian opera composer. According to his Wikipedia entry (I’m a thorough researcher) he was the greatest behind only Verdi. But to me Puccini is number one because he composed my favorite opera of all time, Madama Butterfly. Truth be told, it’s the only one I know but that’s neither here nor there.

Puccini’s two other most famous works are La Bohème and Tosca. Both feature songs that come up on my Enya/Bach Pandora station sometimes. Cool stuff.

Because I love you, here is a recording of legendary diva Maria Callas singing the aria “Un Bel dì Vedremo” (“One Fine Day”) from Butterfly. You don’t need to understand the lyrics in order to be moved (hint – it’s kind of depressing). But here you go anyway!

 

Congratulations, Giacomo Puccini, for being the Hot Catholic of Lent: Day 12!

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Hot Catholic of Lent: Day 10!

Really, I should stop engaging in this silly habit of a daily Hot Catholic of Lent when there is one grand babe who is truly the Hot Being of Everything which includes objects on all planes of existence in every state of the world that ever was. This particular woman is more important to the creation of the Universe – let alone Catholicism – than the Big Bang or the book of Genesis.

Yes, I am talking about Sophia Loren.

Sophia Loren

The Italian goddess, now 82, has been acting since 1950. She won the Academy Award for Best Actress in 1962 for her role in the film Two Women, the first actor to win an Oscar for a foreign-language performance.

In spite of her talent and beauty, Sophia’s most important contribution to society is the invention of the side eye, which she famously gave to fellow bombshell Jayne Mansfield in 1957.

Sophia Jayne

No stranger to decolletage herself, Loren was truly impressed by Mansfield’s assets. In a 2014 interview with Entertainment Weekly, she explained her reaction:

Paramount had organized a party for me. All of cinema was there, it was incredible. And then comes in Jayne Mansfield, the last one to come. For me, that was when it got amazing. She came right for my table. She knew everyone was watching. She sat down. And now, she was barely… Listen. Look at the picture. Where are my eyes? I’m staring at her nipples because I am afraid they are about to come onto my plate. In my face you can see the fear. I’m so frightened that everything in her dress is going to blow—BOOM!—and spill all over the table.

I would have been scared too Sophia!

Sophia was married for fifty years to Carlo Ponti, Sr. until his death in 2007. She had two sons with him and now is a grandmother of four. She still acts and still looks great!

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So congratulations, Sophia, for being the Hot Catholic of Lent: Day 10! I know, I know, in truth you are THE Hot Catholic of All 40 Days of Lent, but we have to be fair to the rest of us mere mortals who walk this Earth.

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