Monthly Archives: February 2017

Give me a Boku NOW!

Posted on February 27, 2017 by thedvrfiles

Today is Monday, which means if I were a kid I would be going to school. “Mom!” I’d holler as I was about to leave the house to catch the bus. “What did you pack me for lunch today?” Mom … Continue reading →

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The Oscars Will Be Grouchy Tonight

Posted on February 26, 2017 by thedvrfiles

Tonight is the Academy Awards, an evening where the Hollywood crowd pats themselves on their backs while conducting a giant circle jerk just for doing their job, which is making movies. Whoop de do. I don’t see any award ceremonies … Continue reading →

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The Only Ocean that Matters is Billy

Posted on February 21, 2017 by thedvrfiles

I’m a fan of geography. I can name the seven continents, I can point to Brazil on a map, and I can tell you the six oceans on planet Earth: The Pacific, the Atlantic, the Indian, the Arctic, the Southern, and Billy. For … Continue reading →

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Wait??? Now we have to look HOT at 63?

Posted on February 20, 2017 by thedvrfiles

Oh, what a victory for feminism! Christie Brinkley, 63, posed in the 2017 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue, alongside her daughters Alexa Ray, 31, and Sailor, 18, proving a woman is still valuable in her AARP years as long as she looks hot … Continue reading →

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It’s Snowing. Don’t Do This Today.

Posted on February 9, 2017 by thedvrfiles

Snow as a kid was fun. You could have snow ball fights! You could go sledding! If eating snow was your thing, the whole outside world became your very own personal Snoopy Sno-cone Machine, minus the red shit flavoring. Snow was the … Continue reading →

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Pure Luxury in a Mint: The After Eight Story

Posted on February 1, 2017 by thedvrfiles

The great songwriter Countess Luann de Lesseps once proclaimed “Money can’t buy you class.” But what she failed to mention is that money CAN you buy you After Eight Mint Chocolate Thins which is practically the same thing because they are … Continue reading →

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