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Monthly Archives: May 2013
You Know What You Need? A Snoopy Sno-Cone!
Hey you, with the sweat on your brow. Why don’t you come over? I have a cool treat for you. What? You thought I was going to give you a BEER? Bish please. Who do you think I am, President … Continue reading
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It’s Getting Hot In Here!
We all had that friend growing up that we would use for their toys. “Can we play with Shelly?” we’d beg Mom. “She’s really nice and she has a full set of Pillow People.” Shelly was especially useful during the … Continue reading
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Who Should I Marry?
So, even though I hooked up with Alex Skarsgard the other night (in my dream, mind you), I am still a single lady. You would think I’d have thousands of suitors lining up at the door of my apartment in … Continue reading
Alex Skarsgard and I Totally Hooked Up Last Night
You will never believe what happened to me last night. It was really awesome. Alex Skarsgard and I totally hooked up. This really and truly happened. Granted, it was in my dreams, but it was so realistic that I woke … Continue reading
Yo! Jesse Pinkman is Off the Market.
Well I guess I won’t be getting any pure meth anytime soon! You see, Jesse Pinkman, or more accurately Aaron Paul–the actor who portrays the bad boy drug dealer on Breaking Bad—got married over the weekend. Well I can’t say I’m … Continue reading
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Let’s Hope This Arrested Development Comes Back Too
All of you aficionados of Arrested Development: the show got to get your Funke on this weekend, as we discussed earlier today. And now it’s time for fans of Arrested Development: the band to get THEIR funk on. Oh yes … Continue reading
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I Am Finally Going to Watch Arrested Development
So this weekend all of you cool kids were all who cares about Memorial Day. Who cares about people sacrificing their lives for their country because you were about to sacrifice your SLEEP so you could stay up all night … Continue reading
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I Would Let This Cop Sexually Harass Me
As we all know by now, Amanda Bynes was arrested Thursday night for reckless endangerment. But of course she denies EVERYTHING, via Tweet: Don’t believe the reports about me being arrested. It’s all lies. I was sexually harassed by one … Continue reading
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Is Amanda Bynes Britney Spears 2.0?
So this is a shocker. Amanda Bynes was arrested last night on a charge of reckless endangerment: bong throwing. Let’s not even get started on ruining a perfectly good bong by throwing it out the window of a New York … Continue reading
Orange Popsicles are the Redheaded Step Children of Frozen Treats
Tomorrow kicks off the unofficial beginning of summer because it is Memorial Day Weekend. And you know what THAT means . . . . It’s Popsicle time! I don’t need any of those fancy natural fruit flavor ones that have … Continue reading
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