I can’t believe I missed this.

Last week on my Bible/muse people.com, Mr. Luke Perry, the man I was supposed to marry 20 years ago, declared that reality TV was trash.

Goo Goo Ga Ga. Those sideburns make me babble STILL.

Mr. McKay, who has grown up to be an old curmudgeon, but an old HOT curmudgeon thankyouverymuch, explains:

It’s put so many writers out of business and put so many actors out of work that it’s changed the face of entertainment. As a guy who has grown up making his living making primetime television – get that reality s––– out of here and give more writers and actors a chance to make shows that people will watch.

It’s not surprising that Dylan is such an arbiter of taste. After all, he drove a Porshe at age 17.

Of course the best part is that his former colleague Tori Spelling currently stars on a reality show called True Tori where she talks about how her husband Dean McDermott stuck his pencil dick in another woman (I know my mom doesn’t read The DVR Files, otherwise I would never use the word dick. I’m a good Catholic girl after all!). Burn baby burn!

Pencil dick but balloon face. That man is BLOATED.

While I do agree that there is a lot of garbage on my TV, Luke has obviously not watched RuPaul’s Drag Race. That’s a very educational show! It has expanded my vocabulary–I now regularly “throw shade” while going to the “library” and “reading” people and “spilling the tea.” Thanks Ru!

You are welcome Liz!

And if anyone wants to see what Mr. Perry looks like now, it’s a bit like that once hot football player from your hometown who peaked in high school and now drinks too much but you’d still hit it after drinking at the local sports bar on the night before Thanksgiving when you are home visiting your parents.

In the words of Michael K at Dlisted, I still would.

Also, if you want to see him naked, watch season 4 of the HBO prison drama Oz. That’s my PSA of the day.