Author Archives: thedvrfiles

The Only Ocean that Matters is Billy

Posted on February 21, 2017 by thedvrfiles

I’m a fan of geography. I can name the seven continents, I can point to Brazil on a map, and I can tell you the six oceans on planet Earth: The Pacific, the Atlantic, the Indian, the Arctic, the Southern, and Billy. For … Continue reading →

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Wait??? Now we have to look HOT at 63?

Posted on February 20, 2017 by thedvrfiles

Oh, what a victory for feminism! Christie Brinkley, 63, posed in the 2017 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue, alongside her daughters Alexa Ray, 31, and Sailor, 18, proving a woman is still valuable in her AARP years as long as she looks hot … Continue reading →

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It’s Snowing. Don’t Do This Today.

Posted on February 9, 2017 by thedvrfiles

Snow as a kid was fun. You could have snow ball fights! You could go sledding! If eating snow was your thing, the whole outside world became your very own personal Snoopy Sno-cone Machine, minus the red shit flavoring. Snow was the … Continue reading →

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Pure Luxury in a Mint: The After Eight Story

Posted on February 1, 2017 by thedvrfiles

The great songwriter Countess Luann de Lesseps once proclaimed “Money can’t buy you class.” But what she failed to mention is that money CAN you buy you After Eight Mint Chocolate Thins which is practically the same thing because they are … Continue reading →

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Sarah Jessica Parker’s Best Role is NOT on HBO

Posted on January 31, 2017 by thedvrfiles

Some things are obvious: Cats are sneaky, Marshmallow Peeps are proof that God exists, and Jordan Knight was the hottest New Kid on the Block. Sometimes, things are so obvious that people deny they are true. You know what I’m talking … Continue reading →

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I Love Katie Couric!

Posted on January 30, 2017 by thedvrfiles

Today I learned that Katie Couric is my cheap ass spirit animal. Home girl loves dollar pizza too! New York City, where Katie and I both live, is known to be super duper expensive. Katie, owns a condo in Manhattan worth … Continue reading →

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Larry David Leggings, and Other Things You Can Buy Me

Posted on January 30, 2017 by thedvrfiles

I get good cable, I own five of the seven Harry Potter books (Sorcerer’s Stone and Order of the Phoenix are at my parents’ house in Massachusetts), and I finally learned how to use the automatic timer thingy on my Mr. Coffee … Continue reading →

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Old Dads are the New Black!

Posted on January 24, 2017 by thedvrfiles

OMG I have SUCH good news to share! Mel Gibson, 61, recently became a father for the ninth time when his girlfriend, Rosalind Ross, 26, gave birth to their son Lars Gerard on Friday, January 20. I would say Mazel … Continue reading →

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Never Forget: Tom Brady and Tara Reid Were Once a Couple

Posted on January 23, 2017 by thedvrfiles

I’ve talked about this before but as the New England Patriots head to a record seventh Super Bowl under coach Bill Belichick, it is VERY important that we remember the most monumental thing about quarterback Tom Brady. That he’s good at … Continue reading →

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The Golden Girls Trump Trump

Posted on January 20, 2017 by thedvrfiles

So today is sort of an annoying day in history. We have a new President who gets in more Twitter fights than LeAnn Rimes. Who allegedly appointed a noted anti-vaxxer to head up a “vaccine safety” commission. (I have an idea! … Continue reading →

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