Snow as a kid was fun. You could have snow ball fights! You could go sledding! If eating snow was your thing, the whole outside world became your very own personal Snoopy Sno-cone Machine, minus the red shit flavoring. Snow was the greatest!

Oh hell yeah.

As an adult this is how I feel about snow: meh. If it happens on the weekend it’s actually nice because it gives my lazy ass an excuse to lie on the couch and catch up on my DVR which is currently 95% full. But if it happens during the week, I gotta drag that same lazy ass to work. When you average the two of those feelings, you get meh.

I know some of you adults still like the snow because you do things like ski or maybe you’re teachers and you get snow days. I’d like it then too! Well, not the skiing part because I hate being cold but I’d hang out in the lodge and drink spiked hot cocoa. But let me warn you, while snow is good for MANY things, it’s NOT a good time to stick your tongue to a frozen pole. Even if someone triple dog dares you. You need evidence? Watch the clip from the classic A Christmas Story below.

Oh poor Flick! His tongue got stuck to the pole! It’s actually quite fitting in hindsight because the actor who played Flick, Scott Schwartz, worked with poles many times as he went onto star in several adult movies. And by adult movies I don’t mean the kind where they talk about taxes and buying houses and taking out second mortgages. I mean dirty sex movies like The Wrong Snatch, Cafe Flesh 2, and Scotty’s X-Rated Adventure.

What a hunk!

So have fun today, but don’t stick your tongue on a pole!