Oh, what a victory for feminism! Christie Brinkley, 63, posed in the 2017 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue, alongside her daughters Alexa Ray, 31, and Sailor, 18, proving a woman is still valuable in her AARP years as long as she looks hot in a bikini.

Christie explained on why she chose to pose:

“In a country that’s very ageist, people love to put you in little boxes,” she says. “Women feel very limited by their numbers. On a personal level, I thought, if I can pull this off, I think it will help redefine those numbers and remove some of the fear of aging.”

Jesus F—ing Christ, Christie. You think a picture of you looking like this at age 63 is going to make my 30-something ass look forward to collecting Social Security?

The answer is, Hell no!

Look, I’m confident in my body. I work out, I eat well(ish), I cut down on my booze drinking, I’m a Lifetime member at Weight Watchers. I do okay even though I barely fill out a 34A bra and the jeans I bought three years ago are tight.

And then I see these pics of Christie and all I can think is, now I have to look like a 25-year-old when I’m 63? I didn’t even come close to looking like this when I was 25! Aren’t our 60s the years where we can relax a little and not care so much about what we look like?

I’m jealous of men. They get to look their age and STILL be sex symbols!

I’m talking to you, Patrick Stewart, age 76. You’re a fox at 76 and you get to look 76! What a concept!

That’s why I love women like Meryl Steep (67), Helen Mirren (71), and Judi Dench (82). They are beautiful AND they look their age. I imagine they’ve gotten a few minor nip and tucks and injections along the way (don’t sue me for libel anyone, I’m just IMAGINING it!) but they still aren’t trying to be the women they were 40+ years ago. And that’s because the women they are NOW are awesome!

What a Dame!

Look, good on Christie Brinkley for having great genes, great surgeons, and a great body. But don’t for the love of God tell me you posed in Sports Illustrated because you want to combat ageism. You are actually contributing to ageism! Tell the truth and announce it from the mountains, I look hot as hell and I want everyone to know!