The DVR Files
Tweets by iamlizsimons-
Recent Posts
Archives
- September 2018
- March 2018
- February 2018
- September 2017
- April 2017
- March 2017
- February 2017
- January 2017
- September 2016
- March 2016
- September 2015
- July 2015
- April 2015
- March 2015
- February 2015
- January 2015
- October 2014
- September 2014
- August 2014
- July 2014
- June 2014
- May 2014
- April 2014
- March 2014
- February 2014
- January 2014
- December 2013
- November 2013
- October 2013
- September 2013
- August 2013
- July 2013
- June 2013
- May 2013
- April 2013
- March 2013
- February 2013
- January 2013
- December 2012
- November 2012
- October 2012
- September 2012
- August 2012
- July 2012
- June 2012
- May 2012
- April 2012
- March 2012
Meta
Author Archives: thedvrfiles
It Is So Hard To Meet a Man in New York, I’d Even Date a Teeny Little Super Guy!
Everyone knows the New York City dating scene is really and truly designed for single women in their 30s. It is AMAZING how easy it is to find a man who wants to settle down and get married RIGHT AWAY. … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Leave a comment
So Long, Intervention!
Okay, it’s been a couple of weeks since A&E announced that they were canceling Intervention after 13 awesome seasons, and I have been in such deep mourning that I have not been able to bring myself to accept it let … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Leave a comment
Brad Pitt’s Best Years Were With Aniston, Not Angelina.
Hi kidz. Wow, this headline is probably the most controversial statement I have EVER written. But it is the truth. Brad Pitt today is one of the most sanctimonious, boring, smug people on EARTH. Heck, probably in the whole galaxy. … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
1 Comment
Helena Bonham Carter As Elizabeth Taylor???
Oh Helena Bonham Carter, who do you think you are with your multiple Academy Award nominations, your Order of the British Empire Status, and all around great acting? See, I just heard the rumors that you will be portraying Elizabeth … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Leave a comment
Do You Bop It or Do What Simon Says?
Man, don’t you HATE it when your games boss you around? It’s like, hello, I already have one mom at home! Despite my disdain for authority at the hands of my toys, there ARE certain play things where I am … Continue reading
People Who Should Have Had a Baby Together: Bailey and Sarah from Part of Five
Thank God it is not 1995, because every high school boy would be CRUSHED at this latest piece of news in the celebrity world. Jennifer Love Hewitt is expecting a baby with a man that is NOT YOU. The father … Continue reading
You Have One Life To Live. What Hospital Do You Go To?
Hey all. Bad news. You’re sick with some weird bogus disease. Totally bummer, because the weather is getting SO NICE. But anyway, you need to go to the hospital. Which one do you choose? A) County General Hospital in Chicago … Continue reading
You Know What You Need? A Snoopy Sno-Cone!
Hey you, with the sweat on your brow. Why don’t you come over? I have a cool treat for you. What? You thought I was going to give you a BEER? Bish please. Who do you think I am, President … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Leave a comment
It’s Getting Hot In Here!
We all had that friend growing up that we would use for their toys. “Can we play with Shelly?” we’d beg Mom. “She’s really nice and she has a full set of Pillow People.” Shelly was especially useful during the … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Leave a comment
Who Should I Marry?
So, even though I hooked up with Alex Skarsgard the other night (in my dream, mind you), I am still a single lady. You would think I’d have thousands of suitors lining up at the door of my apartment in … Continue reading
The DVR Files 