Thank God it is not 1995, because every high school boy would be CRUSHED at this latest piece of news in the celebrity world.

Jennifer Love Hewitt is expecting a baby with a man that is NOT YOU.

I wonder if she will breast feed.

The father is some guy named Brian Hallisay, who is apparently her co-star on that sexy Lifetime show The Client List (is that an oxymoron?) as well as her boyfriend. Congrats, I GUESS.

Because let’s be honest, we all know who the father SHOULD be.

Bailey F—ing Salinger.

Could have been a Party of Three.

Unfortunately they broke up in the late ’90s so that Sarah Reeves Merrin/Jennifer Love Hewitt could have the “Time of Her Life” in New York City. What an ungrateful jerk!

I hope Bailey does not descend into alcohol again.