Hi kidz. Wow, this headline is probably the most controversial statement I have EVER written. But it is the truth.

Brad Pitt today is one of the most sanctimonious, boring, smug people on EARTH. Heck, probably in the whole galaxy.

20+ years ago in the Thelma & Louise days he had a right to be smug. Damn.

In a recent interview with Esquire, he was all, I am so HAPPY. I don’t need any friends because I have my FAMILY. And then he threw some subtle shade at Jennifer Aniston:

I spent years (slacking) off. But then I got burnt out and felt that I was wasting my opportunity. It was a conscious change. This was about a decade ago. It was an epiphany — a decision not to squander my opportunities. It was a feeling of get up. Because otherwise, what’s the point?

While he didn’t point out Aniston specifically, he WAS married to her in those lost years. And this is not the first time he has said something so obnoxious. In a 2011 interview with Parade, he explained:

It became very clear to me that I was intent on trying to find a movie about an interesting life, but I wasn’t living an interesting life myself. I think that my marriage [to actress Jennifer Aniston] had something to do with it. Trying to pretend the marriage was something that it wasn’t.

Ugh, I just CAN’T. But honestly, Aniston is the lucky one. She got him when he looked like this:

Doesn’t look like a pothead to me.

And this:

I’ll just ignore the pinky ring.

And finally this:

I’d hit it.

Angelina, on the other hand, got this:

Did he use Wite-Out to color his beard?

I think we all know who the winner is hear. Team Aniston all the way!