Monthly Archives: November 2012

Last night I made the mistake of watching American Horror Story before I went to bed. “I can handle this,” I thought to myself. “Bloody Face is for kids.” Well, sure, possibly. But he’s also for poor innocent woman and crafting lamp … Continue reading →

Man, you just have to love Patti Stanger’s hustle. In addition to starring on Bravo’s The Millionaire Matchmaker, she also sounds off on love for People Magazine. Which is hilarious coming from a woman who constantly insults other women and has … Continue reading →

Don’t believe the rumors, because Kris and Bruce Jenner are not divorcing! Well, phew, I can now give a deep breath of who gives a flying f—. The best part, of course, is that were there ever any rumors to begin with? … Continue reading →

Perpetual scowler Kristen Stewart threw away her hooded sweatshirts, flannel and frowns at the London premiere of the movie I will never see, Breaking Dawn-Part 2. Instead, she tried channeling Cher circa 1986 Academy Awards.             … Continue reading →

Okay, I can now understand how those crazy religious freaks think that the world is going to end on December 21, 2012. I mean, how else can you explain that Channing Tatum was chosen as People Mag’s Sexiest Man Alive? … Continue reading →

My brother Andrew Kelley Simons and I were talking on the phone last night as siblings who live in different states often do (but not enough, because he never calls), and he pointed out that my brilliant blog The DVR … Continue reading →

Here is something adorable. And here is something even MORE adorable. You are an awful, cruel, heartless human being if you don’t think Valerie Bertinelli is the cutest TV actress ever. From One Day at a Time to I Was a Mail Order … Continue reading →

I called it. Back in 2009 when Kanye crashed Taylor Swift’s speech at the VMAs, I said this was the best thing that could have happened to her and everyone would be “poor Taylor!” and go out and buy her … Continue reading →

All right–y’all know how I feel about LeAnn Rimes. I think she’s just a narcissistic snake and I’m no fan of her hubby Eddie Cibrian who left his wife and two kids to knock boots with Ms. Rimes. That said–Eddie’s … Continue reading →