The Apocalypse Has Come . . . Channing Tatum is People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive

Okay, I can now understand how those crazy religious freaks think that the world is going to end on December 21, 2012. I mean, how else can you explain that Channing Tatum was chosen as People Mag’s Sexiest Man Alive?

Looks like he belongs in a Vanilla Ice video circa 1991.

Don’t get me wrong, Channing Tatum is a handsome man, if you’re into overgrown frat boys. No, I’ve never seen a single movie he was in, and yes, I’ve heard he was great in Magic Mike and 21 Jump Street (according to my mom!). However, I AM an expert on sexy men, though I prefer them with a little more life experience besides time spent on the stripper pole.

For example him:

He’s so honorable, that even without a head Ned Stark is hot!

and him:

Zombies make everyone go crazy. Shane was no exception.

and of course him:

Hairless vampires usually aren’t my thing, but I’ll make an exception for Sexiest Man Undead Eric Northman.

Honestly, I am beginning to question the taste level of People. They used to make quality choices for Sexiest Man Alive such as Sean Connery, George Clooney, and Patrick Swayze. The past three years, however, have brought us Ryan Reynolds, Bradley Cooper, and now Channing. It’s as if People Mag is edited only by recent college grads who live in Murray Hill in Manhattan.

Let’s hope for a better 2013!

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