I called it.

Back in 2009 when Kanye crashed Taylor Swift’s speech at the VMAs, I said this was the best thing that could have happened to her and everyone would be “poor Taylor!” and go out and buy her albums.

Yo, Taylor. I’m really happy for you. I’m gonna let you finish, but shut up about your boyfriends. And why’d you bother with John Mayer? He’s a bigger douche than I am, and I know douches!

I still think Kanye is a dick, by the way.

All right. Life goes on, we hear a million and three songs about this boy that Taylor likes, that boy that Taylor likes, and then the high school student that also happens to be a Kennedy that Taylor likes. Honestly, he is kind of cute so I can’t totes blame her, but I’m almost twice his age so I need to take a shower because I feel kind of dirty.

If this was 1968, Conor would probably be your next Presidential candidate, or star in the Return of the Blue Lagoon. 

To be honest with you I don’t have any REAL aversion to Tay Tay. I think she’s adorable and not controversial and a little blah. But she’s in the press every single day about the most boring things possible, and it’s hard to ignore.

Case in point. This morning I woke up and logged into my beloved people.com, where Tay explains her ultimate first world problem in an interview to Harper’s Bazaar (via People):

I’m in a predicament where I can’t wear a dress twice or else it’s pointed out in magazines . . . So unfortunately I have to shop for dresses all the time.

That IS tough. I know people who got laid off this week, I know people who lost their homes in Hurricane Sandy, I even know people who lost parents to cancer. But Tay Tay has to shop for dresses!!! I know sometimes when I visit my parents, my mom will take me out shopping because she knows I never buy clothes. “Liz,” she pleads, “Pick out a dress or two! They’re on me!” “Mooooo-oooooom!” I whine. “That’s too haaaa-aaaaard!”

That Taylor Swift, always keeping it real!