Author Archives: thedvrfiles

Alex Skarsgard and I Totally Hooked Up Last Night

You will never believe what happened to me last night. It was really awesome. Alex Skarsgard and I totally hooked up. This really and truly happened. Granted, it was in my dreams, but it was so realistic that I woke … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Yo! Jesse Pinkman is Off the Market.

Well I guess I won’t be getting any pure meth anytime soon! You see, Jesse Pinkman, or more accurately Aaron Paul–the actor who portrays the bad boy drug dealer on Breaking Bad—got married over the weekend. Well I can’t say I’m … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Let’s Hope This Arrested Development Comes Back Too

All of you aficionados of Arrested Development: the show got to get your Funke on this weekend, as we discussed earlier today. And now it’s time for fans of Arrested Development: the band to get THEIR funk on. Oh yes … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

I Am Finally Going to Watch Arrested Development

So this weekend all of you cool kids were all who cares about Memorial Day. Who cares about people sacrificing their lives for their country because you were about to sacrifice your SLEEP so you could stay up all night … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | 10 Comments

I Would Let This Cop Sexually Harass Me

As we all know by now, Amanda Bynes was arrested Thursday night for reckless endangerment. But of course she denies EVERYTHING, via Tweet: Don’t believe the reports about me being arrested. It’s all lies. I was sexually harassed by one … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Is Amanda Bynes Britney Spears 2.0?

So this is a shocker. Amanda Bynes was arrested last night on a charge of reckless endangerment: bong throwing. Let’s not even get started on ruining a perfectly good bong by throwing it out the window of a New York … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Orange Popsicles are the Redheaded Step Children of Frozen Treats

Tomorrow kicks off the unofficial beginning of summer because it is Memorial Day Weekend. And you know what THAT means . . . . It’s Popsicle time! I don’t need any of those fancy natural fruit flavor ones that have … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

What the World Needs Now is Tawny Kitaen, Sweet Tawny Kitaen

Sometimes you don’t have time to go to the gym so you head to the nearest parking lot to get a good workout. Car hoods are just PERFECT for splits! And honest to God, I would not have known this … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

When I Want Authentic Italian Food, I Go to This Guy

Sometimes when you come from work you just want to eat. Mac and cheese would take too long. Who wants to waste time boiling water? Your other option is a peanut butter and jelly sammy, but you ate one of … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Most Improved: Patrick Dempsey

If Hollywood were high school, and broadcast television were yearbooks (work with me here), then Patrick Dempsey would be voted “Most Improved.” And I’m not even talking about how he paid Cindy Mancini a thousand bucks to pretend to be … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment