Author Archives: thedvrfiles

Snack Attack! Give Me a York Peppermint Pattie NOW

Posted on July 2, 2013 by thedvrfiles

One of the best things about living in a place with four seasons is complaining. What, it’s going to be really hot and humid for the months of July and August? You don’t say! This totally only happens every year! … Continue reading →

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This Is Not My Canobie

Posted on July 1, 2013 by thedvrfiles

Hey kidz. So yesterday I went to a carnival in my nabe. It was one of those great ones, with shoddy rides, overpriced corn dogs, and carny workers with missing teeth. In other words PERFECT. It got me thinking that … Continue reading →

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Happy Canada Day!

Posted on July 1, 2013 by thedvrfiles

There’s nothing funny aboot today. Besides being what would have been Princess Di’s 52nd birthday, it is also Canada Day! Woohoo! There are so many great things about Canada, it’s hard to choose just one. So please enjoy my ode … Continue reading →

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Steve Sanders WERKS It!

Posted on July 1, 2013 by thedvrfiles

Beverly Hill, 90210‘s resident jock, Steve Sanders, has still got it. Got WHAT, you ask. A gorgeous mullet? Nope. A beautiful Asian wife? Nay, though he does have a cute white one. SO WHAT IS IT??? Ummmm . . . how … Continue reading →

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Cameron and Linden Are Married. WTF is Right!

Posted on June 28, 2013 by thedvrfiles

Wow, my life has been completely turned upside down. Cameron from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and Linden from The Killing are married. This is a case where many a f— are given because I had no f—ing clue they were a couple, … Continue reading →

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If Cher Could Turn Back Time, She’d Spend Another Night With Tom Cruise

Posted on June 28, 2013 by thedvrfiles

Madonna, Jennifer Lopez, and Demi Moore may like their men young, but they are AMATEURS next to the Queen Bee of all things that matter. Yes, I am talking about Cher. I’m sure Cher got many babes wearing that get … Continue reading →

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How Can We Cool Off? I Have An Idea–Let’s Call 1-800-THE-POOL!

Posted on June 28, 2013 by thedvrfiles

I’ve finished drinking all my Sunny D and I’m STILL not refreshed. What the heck am I going to do? I want to have fun in the sun this weekend AND stay cool. My dad’s kind of cheap so he’s … Continue reading →

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I Own Condiments Older than James Woods’ New Girlfriend

Posted on June 27, 2013 by thedvrfiles

I am SO not one to be judgmental, but James Woods is kind of gross. I used to like James Woods. He’s from Rhode Island, like my mom. He went to MIT, so he’s a nerd. He was in The … Continue reading →

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No Hockey Tonight? No Problem!

Posted on June 26, 2013 by thedvrfiles

Ughhhhh. I am so sad. I was planning on going to a bar tonight to watch the Boston Bruins capture the Stanley Cup. Instead, the dream was cut short Monday night, when the Chicago Blackhawks won Game 6 and ended … Continue reading →

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Hypothetical Situation: I Have One Week to Live and Have All of These Movies to See

Posted on June 26, 2013 by thedvrfiles

If blogging were a high school yearbook, please vote me “Most Pathetic” because I have not seen the following iconic movies: 1) Caddyshack 2) Airplane! 3) Die Hard 4) Police Academy 5) Gone With the Wind 6) Fantasia 7) Blazing … Continue reading →

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