One of the best things about living in a place with four seasons is complaining. What, it’s going to be really hot and humid for the months of July and August? You don’t say! This totally only happens every year! But I am going to whine about it anyway because it’s the Northeast way.

If only I had a yard and a sprinkler . . . .

Since I’m too lazy to walk to a public pool or hop on a train to get to a beach, I am going to instead do what I do best, besides bitch and moan. I am going to EAT! And what would be a better snack to keep me ice cold than a York Peppermint Pattie???

Yes please!

A Junior Mint, you say? Oh f— you.

I can think of other things I want extra thick.