Madonna, Jennifer Lopez, and Demi Moore may like their men young, but they are AMATEURS next to the Queen Bee of all things that matter. Yes, I am talking about Cher.

I’m sure Cher got many babes wearing that get up.

What, Demi, you married 15-years-younger Ashton Kutcher? That’s cool and all but Cher was way more subversive, dating bagel maker Rob Camilletti–dubbed “Bagel Boy” in the press–who was 18 years her junior.

Haters to the left.

Ohhhh, so J. Lo is close. The actress/diva/Liz Taylor wannabe, 43, dates Casper Smart, 25, whose striking resemblance to Jon Cryer is eerie.

You could do better Jenny from the Block.

Pshaw. Cher dated Val Kilmer, who was supposed to costar with the REAL Jon Cryer in the upcoming animated movie Planes, before Cryer dropped out.

Val looks more like a hot piece than a real genius to me.

Madonna then. She HAS to be close. She had a baby with personal trainer Carlos Leon, 8 years younger. She married Guy Ritchie, 10 years younger. The 54-year-old is rumored to have broken up Alex Rodriguez’s marriage in 2008, when she was 49 to his 32. Since then she has dated a flurry of young men young enough to be her sons, including the very hot Jesus Luz.

Good work!

But even Madonna can’t compete with Cher. Last night on What What Happens Live with Andy Cohen, Cher discussed her top lovers. Well, she didn’t REALLY name names, but she did admit that the world’s most famous Scientologist –yes, Tom Cruise–was in the Top 5.

Clearly he could tame more than just her hair.

I love Cher. She is my inspiration. I’m not sure if she’s dating anyone now, but Tommy’s single these days, so let’s keep our fingers crossed that these two get back together.

And just because it’s Friday, I’m including one of my all time favorite scenes from The Golden Girls when Sophia and Dorothy covered one of Cher’s greatest hits. You’re welcome.