Monthly Archives: October 2012

So I Guess There will Never Be a Britney Timberlake

Boo F—ing Hoo. Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel got married yesterday. In Italy. Of course they did. Is Justin’s hometown of Memphis too low budget for them? I’m not crying because I’m a bitter bitch, I’m weeping tears of Cheeto crumbs … Continue reading

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Pepsi is the Choice of a New Generation, and Hot Supermodels like Cindy Crawford in 1992

Could there be anything more early ’90s than Cindy Crawford? Well, besides Nirvana, teen angst, and the movie Backdraft which my parents let me see in the movie theater even though it was rated R. And while acting on the big … Continue reading

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Derek Jeter is Doing Just Fine

Okay, I’ll be upfront with you. I’m a Red Sox fan. 2004 was one of the best years of life because 1) I had a British boyfriend named Dr. Love for a few months and 2) the Red Sox won … Continue reading

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I Wish I Could Pick Up Men by Being a Twin and Offering Them a Piece of Gum

Life is SO Unfair. Like when I go to a supermarket and I really want a Skor bar, and all they have is a Heath bar. Or when I want to watch Real Housewives of Atlanta, but only Real Housewives of … Continue reading

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Nick Lachey Loves Smelling His Baby Son, While I Enjoy Smelling Nothing!

Confesh: I literally have no sense of smell. I’m what you call an anosmiac, which means I can’t detect odors AT ALL. Sometimes it’s a blessing: farts are just cute little noises, the New York City Subway can be a … Continue reading

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Michelle Obama and Ann Romney Wore Pink! Because This is What is Important in the World!

Don’t you fret–The DVR Files is a  politics free zone, unless, of course we’re talking about, say, The Good Wife or West Wing, neither of which I watch but YOU NEVER KNOW. But as every good American knows, last night … Continue reading

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Tyra Banks Knows Boston, as Well as Everything Else in the World

Remember when Tyra Banks was just known for being a swimsuit model with big boobs? Oh, those were the days! But then she went on a power trip and started America’s Next Top Model and then hosted her own eponymous … Continue reading

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Jack Osbourne is all Grown Up!

Want to feel old? The Osbournes turned 10 years old this year. Sharon and Ozzy were the first famous family to really exploit their kin in front of the cameras. Well, let’s be honest, it was all Sharon’s doing. But … Continue reading

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Good News! The Hair Club for Men is Still Around!

So today I was flipping through the channels when I saw a commercial for the Hair Club for Men, and I was SO overjoyed to see that it was still around. As a female child growing up in the 1980s, … Continue reading

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Courtney Stodden Has Not Had Plastic Surgery. In Other News, Santa Claus is Coming Over to my House!

Let’s be honest. I am so deeply ashamed that I call myself a huge fan of the irrepressible Courtney Stodden but I don’t even watch her new show Couples Therapy on VH1. What kind of pop culture ho am I? That … Continue reading

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