I’m Cuter

Here at The DVR Files we like to uncover the truth!

For example . . . it is true that Jon Hamm carries around a big package on a daily basis . . .

You know I had to do it one last time.

Yup.

And that LeAnn Rimes is a bigger fame whore than Kim Kardashian . . .

Well, at least in the pre-North West days.

Well, at least in the pre-North West days.

And finally that Carson’s eyebrows will save you from a flood.

Talk to me.

He’ll take you from Downton Abbey to Uptown in the Sky!

However, there is a truth so damning that I can barely bring myself to type the sentence for fear that my computer will explode, and I’m too cheap to buy a new one.

So please . . . be prepared . . . Alexander Skarsgard  has a girlfriend that is NOT ME!

Boom!

Boom!

Okay, now that the dust has settled please come out from the debris. I’m shocked too, especially since Alex and I once hooked up (in my dream. But it was a very realistic dream.).

See, Michael K from Dlisted, the best blog in the world besides mine, revealed this piece of bad news which he got from the Daily Mail. Alex’s reportedly been dating Swedish actress Alicia Vikander for a year.

Like I said, I'm cuter.

Like I said, I’m cuter.

I don’t know what Skarsgard could possibly see in a beautiful and rich 24-year-old Scandinavian when he could date a very smart American girl who likes to read and drink wine at the same time.

And give you citizenship. Don't forget that!

And give you citizenship. Don’t forget that!

So Alex, I guess we will never make true love together so take your true blood elsewhere. Maybe the North Pole or something.

Yes please.

I will NOT FOLLOW YOU!

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