Monthly Archives: September 2012

Sooooo . . . it’s Friday which means it’s the WEEKEND which means that you should drink a lot and if you’re lucky knock boots with someone cute. But please, always be prepared, just like my bitches Dorothy, Blanche, and … Continue reading →

The other day I was leaving my apartment to go to work and I thought to myself, you know what would be really fun? Wearing my cardigan backwards! Sure, it would be hard to button up, but it would look … Continue reading →

But read them, yes! Which child of the 1980s did not dream about their mom ordering them Sweet Pickles because she loved them enough to be smart? I was so jealous because the only Sweet Pickles book I got was a copy … Continue reading →

Sometimes I get really jealous of little kids because they get to do things like only go to school for a half a day, their moms make them their lunches, and they don’t have to pay for their own clothes. … Continue reading →

Hey all! Today The DVR Files celebrates its 6 month birthday. What an accomplishment! Here are a few things it has outlasted: Kim Kardashian’s (second) marriage to beloved basketball player Kris Humphries The TV show Lone Star Occupy Wall Street … Continue reading →

Confession: I spent a lot of time at the beach growing up and my mom only gave me one dollar for the ice cream man. I was still hungry, so I ate what was nearby. Sand! To be fair, I … Continue reading →

Jesus F—ing Christ. Can you believe that Anna Nicole Smith’s little girl Dannielynn Birkhead is now six-years-old? No? Well, thank GOD for Access Hollywood because they will take us directly to her birthday party on Monday. They should really call it Access … Continue reading →

Must because my mom never bought me Encyclopedia Britannica! He’s such a dweeb, he makes me look cool. I bet he even belonged to the Superman asthma club!

The other day I was thinking what heaven would be like. I bet it’s a really fun place with all your favorite things in one central location. You’ve got the Plinko board from The Price is Right, the big wheel from Wheel … Continue reading →

Okay, by now it’s old news in the blogosphere but it’s still SUPER important and BIG. It keeps swelling and swelling! Are you standing at attention in an erect position? I hope so, because we need to talk about the … Continue reading →