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Category Archives: Uncategorized
Are Golden Grahams the Path to Happiness?
Next time I bring a gentleman caller home (which is NEVER. I’m a good Catholic girl, y’all), I know JUST what to feed him for breakfast the morning after so that he’ll remember my name. Golden Grahams! Because then we’ll … Continue reading
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Forget the Russians. It’s the Australians that are taking over America!
WHAT IS GOING ON? Every time I turn on my tv lately, there is a new actor I don’t recognize. “He’s cute,” I say to myself, because I watch TV alone on my couch. “Let me look him up on … Continue reading
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Where in the World is Camryn Manheim?
I bet when you read the first four words of this headline you got SO excited. You were all, where IS Carmen Sandiego? I haven’t seen that international criminal mastermind in a WHILE. I fooled you, huh, just like Carmen … Continue reading
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Remember When Gwyneth Was Just a Head in a Box?
Once upon a time I liked Gwyneth Paltrow. The year was 1995 and she was dating Brad Pitt and had short blonde hair which she OWNED and she smoked cigarettes and she seemed kind of normal, except for that whole … Continue reading
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Sean Collier Is Our Brother
I am a middle child. That’s my gig, more or less. Sure, I wear other hats. Daughter, comedian, snarky blogger . . . but the relationship that defines me the most is being the younger sister to Katie and the … Continue reading
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7 Little Johnstons Is NOT a TLC Show???
So last night I got my latest issue of People magazine, as in the kind with pages that you flip through while sitting on the toilet. TMI? Too bad. I didn’t have to even go far till I found something … Continue reading
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What Is It With Hot Cops on My TV?
As an Irish American, it is my sacred duty to like cops. Every Officer Sullivan, Fitzgerald, and Smith (or Sully, Fitzy, and Smitty) could be one of my uncles or cousins or friend on the old block, if I had … Continue reading
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Warning: Reading “The Looming Tower” while watching Breaking Bad May Make You Want to See Puupies
Last week I started watching Breaking Bad because I want to be like every other cool person I know. I also started reading the book The Looming Tower by Lawrence Wright which is about the formation of Al-Qaeda and how it led … Continue reading
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Suri Cruise Has Bangs, and I Know This Because I Clicked on a Link
I feel guilty about quite a few things . . . google stalking my crushes, microwaving Peeps to watch them explode (where is PETA???), thinking Jamie Bell was hot when he starred as Billy Elliot at age 13 . . … Continue reading
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I am Going to be a Beloved, er, “Aunt”
So my brother Andrew and his beautiful fiancee Sara are expecting their first child together, which means I will be an aunt. Yay! Let’s just hope that when I die Andrew doesn’t call me a beloved, er, cunt in my … Continue reading
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