Author Archives: thedvrfiles

Sometimes I get really jealous of little kids because they get to do things like only go to school for a half a day, their moms make them their lunches, and they don’t have to pay for their own clothes. … Continue reading →

Hey all! Today The DVR Files celebrates its 6 month birthday. What an accomplishment! Here are a few things it has outlasted: Kim Kardashian’s (second) marriage to beloved basketball player Kris Humphries The TV show Lone Star Occupy Wall Street … Continue reading →

Confession: I spent a lot of time at the beach growing up and my mom only gave me one dollar for the ice cream man. I was still hungry, so I ate what was nearby. Sand! To be fair, I … Continue reading →

Jesus F—ing Christ. Can you believe that Anna Nicole Smith’s little girl Dannielynn Birkhead is now six-years-old? No? Well, thank GOD for Access Hollywood because they will take us directly to her birthday party on Monday. They should really call it Access … Continue reading →

Must because my mom never bought me Encyclopedia Britannica! He’s such a dweeb, he makes me look cool. I bet he even belonged to the Superman asthma club!

The other day I was thinking what heaven would be like. I bet it’s a really fun place with all your favorite things in one central location. You’ve got the Plinko board from The Price is Right, the big wheel from Wheel … Continue reading →

Okay, by now it’s old news in the blogosphere but it’s still SUPER important and BIG. It keeps swelling and swelling! Are you standing at attention in an erect position? I hope so, because we need to talk about the … Continue reading →

Man, I REALLY wish I was in seventh grade again because puberty was SO KIND to me. It would also be awesome because then I could go home after school, have a pack of Dunkaroos, and settle down with a … Continue reading →

Oh my God people, did you here??? Mila Kunis stood outside in the rain for a Madonna concert at Yankee Stadium!!! What a f—ing brave soul! Please add this to the pile of sh– no one cares about. I don’t … Continue reading →

Ryan Reynolds sure likes them young! People Magazine has announced that the 35-year-old Ryan Reynolds, star of beloved sitcom Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place has married Russ from European Vacation’s younger half-sister Blake Lively, age 25. Mazel … Continue reading →