Yesterday I made a big deal about giving up sweets for Lent and how sad I would be not to have any cookies for 40 days.

Boohoo indeed!

And while it’s true that I’m very sad I have to go without Magic Middles, Storck Chocolate Riesens, York Peppermint Patties, and Werther Originals, in the words of Gloria Gaynor I WILL SURVIVE.

Because I can have the one Cookie that matters. Well, at least on Wednesday nights.

Yes, that’s right. I’m talking about the greatest Cookie in the history of the world–and I’ve had Giggles–Cookie Lyon on Empire!

Even sitting down this bitch smokes all the other bitches in the room.

Cookie Lyon, portrayed on point by Taraji P. Henson, is the ex-drug dealer, ex-prisoner, current bad ass bitch, and matriarch of the Empire empire on the tv show Empire. She started the record label with her one time husband Lucius Lyon (Terrence Howard) but then she went to prison for seventeen years for selling drugs. Oops! And now she’s out of prison and has not missed a beat and she’s taking over the world, one gay R&B artist at a time.

Flawless.

In the 7 weeks since the show premiered, I have learned this from Cookie:

• “The streets aren’t made for everyone, that’s why they made sidewalks.”
• “I want to show you a faggot can really run this company.”
• “You gotta have sex to make a baby.”
• “Boo Boo Kitty”
• “I just snitched on him in court. Dead bitch walking, that’s me out here right now.”

Home girl has a way with words, that’s for sure! I weep for poor Anika. She doesn’t stand a chance.