I absolutely HAVE to interrupt my Emmy predictions to bring you this breaking news: Lena Headey–the actress who plays Queen Bitch Cersei Lannister in Game of Thrones–has filed for divorce from her husband of a whopping five years, musician Peter Loughran.

She’s back on the market, but her son might behead you!

Let’s be honest–I can’t believe HE didn’t file first! Yeah, yeah, I know she’s an actress and not actually Cersei in real life, but I’d still be worried if I was the one who put a ring on it. Cersei’s track with record with people in general is not very good. Sure, a Lannister always pays their debts, as Tyrion is apt to point out, but they also may kill you first! Cersei married a frigging KING and wasn’t satisfied–she kept sleeping with her twin brother Jaime who admittedly is a way sexier fox than her hubby King Robert Baratheon but is also way more evil!

He’d be great fun at a keg stand!

He may be her brother but look at that hair!

In addition to being evil (which includes such actions as pushing a kid out a window thus crippling him for life), Jaime is the biological father of Cersei’s three children, not Robert, and when my beloved Ned Stark threatened to tell the King Cersei had the King killed! What a crazy bitch! And then her son Joffrey ascended the throne and (spoiler alert) killed Ned! What a son of a crazy bitch!

So Peter, run way. And honestly, let her have full custody of your two-year-old son Wylie, because who knows if he’s even yours!

Disclaimer . . . I don’t know any of these people so I am totally just speculating on their marriage and talking trash because the only Lannister I like is Tyrion!

A man among men!