The DVR Files

My fellow DVR devotees . . . do you ever dread going on vacation because you will miss all your shows? Sure, you can record them but really when you return who has time to watch them all? I mean, WORK gets in the way. Booooooo.

This exact situation happened to me recently. I went to Ireland for a week with my family. Yeah, it was cool. But what wasn’t cool was coming back to a DVR 80% full and knowing there was virtually no time to catch up unless I took another week’s vacation.

I had to make some decisions if I wanted to eat, breathe, and sleep. So I played Sophie’s Choice with my DVR and deleted about 20 hours. I did something I’d never do in this lifetime: I erased three episodes of my beloved Real Housewives of Atlanta. I have never missed an episode and I now just casually tossed it away like Kim Kardashian does to her dignity every day. I went on a cleaning spree: I deleted passed episodes of Modern Family, 30 Rock, Intervention, New Girl. You name it, it was gone. My rule of thumb was I was only allowed to keep the most recent episode of a show (I was already backed up BEFORE I went on my vacation so in some cases I had 3 or 4 episodes of a given show).

While I was committed to my DVR cleanup, I DID keep TWO shows in their entirety: The Killing (I don’t know why I bother) and Game of Thrones.

Makes me think–what are the shows that you absolutely cannot go without? Who would you save on your DVR? This is a very important discussion, kidz.

Till later–

Liz

I am positively ASHAMED that I missed a very important date. You see, on April 12 one of my all-time favorite tv boo!vies turned 25. Yes, that’s right, we’re talking about the seminal flick Bride of Boogedy which aired as “The Disney Sunday Movie” not on the Disney Channel (which was a premium channel which you had to PAY for back in the day!!! What a goofy idea!) but on ABC at 8pm in 1987. Hosted by CEO Michael Eisner, “The Disney Sunday Movie” was THE destination for kids. We got Not Quite Human, Parent Trap 2, Little Spies, and of course my fave, the aforementioned Bride.

Bride of Boogedy was the sequel to the classic Mr. Boogedy, which shamefully I never saw. Both movies were about a ghost who haunted a family in a New England town called Lucifer Falls. Of course. But what makes Bride so memorable is one of its stars . . . the super cute David Faustino!

Hey girl, want to run your fingers through my perfectly coiffed hair?

Oh, David was handsome. And 12. 7-year-old me developed such a big crush that I knew I needed to see him every week. And what do you know? He was on a new show that had premiered exactly one week prior on Fox called Married . . . with Children! So the next Sunday I ditched Disney and tuned into dysfunction! Over the next several months I was able to sneak in a few episodes of Married before my father caught on. I was then forbidden to watch it, a punishment that continued through my senior year in high school when the show finally ended its run in 1997.

At any rate, thank you Michael Eisner and company for introducing me to David. Let’s just say he peaked in 1987. And Happy Birthday Bride of Boogedy! Let’s watch a clip to celebrate. And wait . . . could that REALLY be Eugene Levy? Oh yes, it is. Enjoy!

Okay, maybe icon is stretching it a bit, but Gennie James was THE child actress of the mid-1980s. Homegirl was in EVERY tv movie that mattered: The Hugga Bunch, The Christmas Gift (with JOHN DENVER no less), The Secret Garden (with Colin motherf’ing Firth and other disappearing child actor Barret Oliver!!!) and the first show that ever made me cry Alex: The Life of a Child where she played Frank Deford’s daughter who died of cystic fibrosis. I was in first grade when that movie hit the airwaves. I admit I was a bit of a melodramatic kid–I also loved Beaches–and I snuck downstairs to watch as she passed away in her father’s arms. Oh, how I cried and cried and cried. I just made the mistake of rewatching that scene on youtube and now I need to pop in a Golden Girls DVD so I won’t go to bed depressed.

At any rate, Gennie stopped acting in 1988 when she was just 11 years old. Now, if this was 20 years ago I would forever wonder what the hell happened to her. But this is 2012 where you can find out anything you want via Google! And sure enough . . . Gennie gave up acting and is apparently living a normal life with a husband and kids in Texas. It’s almost anti-climactic how easy this was to find out. Bahhhhh.

Let’s remember the good old days by watching a little clip of The Hugga Bunch.

Yeah, I'm talking to you.

Nope, the man above is not a Mafia enforcer, a Mafia informant, or an FBI agent working undercover trying to break up the Mafia in New Jersey. Nope, he is Seth Jaffe, aka the “Sober Coach,” aka the newest interventionist on my beloved feel-food show Intervention. I’m behind on all my shows so I’m only watching the March 13 episode NOW. What a bad tv blogger I am! At any rate, the ep features Sean, a garden variety alcoholic and Kid Rock lookalike with a semi hot younger brother. His story is sad as they usually are and then they throw me for a real loop. They go to the pre-intervention with the family and we see a shot of a bald man from the back so I think hey, Jeff’s the interventionist but then it turns out I’m wrong! There’s another bald bitch in town, and his name is Seth Jaffe.

Like Jeff, Seth is a bad ass, no-nonsense straight shooter who also happens to be a recovered addict. Unlike Jeff, it remains to be seen if he will say the same thing every week. Which is okay if he does because I love Jeff like crazy.

And now I’m done.

This Sunday is going to be a very busy day for my DVR. I’ve got Celebrity Apprentice, Real Ho’wives of Atlanta, The Amazing Race, Game of Thrones, and The Killing!!!

I am SO excited but also a little wary for The Killing‘s return. Are we EVER going to find out who killed Rosie Larsen, who, I’m sorry to say, looked WAY too much like  Meredith Kercher (the forgotten victim at the center of the Amanda Knox circus)? Oh I know how to bring the mood down.

And  Linden better learn to smile every once in a while. And fix those goddamn tendrils.

I don't know how to use a brush.

So sue me! But don’t be disappointed because even if you win I have no money to give you, just lots of spices that I never use. Those things get expensive!

I watched Mad Men during its first season in 2007. I had read a review of it somewhere and it was supposed to be THE show. Someone from Sopranos was involved. I thought, why not.

Why yes Liz I would love to get you drunk and take advantage of you.

I watched the show each week out of obligation, like going to church on Sundays, which coincidentally, was the day it aired. I kept waiting for something to happen. Sure, Don Draper was hot. Yes, Joan made me want to get breast implants. I appreciated the show, kind of like you appreciate Shakespeare. You know you’re supposed to like it but you never really do.

I stuck with it but never quite got it. By the time the second season came around in the summer of 2008, Mad Men was everywhere. I watched the first episode and realized I didn’t like it. So I gave it up.

There are times when I feel like I’m missing out on a huge pop cultural phenomenon. I feel left out. But it’s my choice and I’m sticking to it, because honestly it would take way too many hours to get caught up at this point, and my DVR is already full.

Hey kidz!

It’s the weekend! What are you doing? going out, meeting people, maybe kissing those new people? Oh aren’t YOU cool. Can you hear the sarcasm dripping from my, er, mouth/keystrokes?

Me? I’m going to get caught up on my shows. I’m behind on Walking Dead, Intervention, Hoarders, Luck (why even bother at this point, I know), etc. And there’s no time to waste because two of my faves are returning next weekend: The Killing and Games of Thrones!

Goodbye!

Have you heard of this really great new actress Heather Locklear? She’s AWESOME. And blonde. And in every tv show known to man.

INCLUDING one of my faves from the early 1990s, Going Places.

What was Going Places about, you ask? I have no idea! I only watched it every Friday when I was in sixth grade because I used to babysit and what else was I going to do after watching Perfect Strangers? Eat a vat of frosting? (Don’t be ridiculous, I only ate that if they were out of Giggles cookies.) I DO know it had an excellent cast: Alan “Cameron” Ruck, Jerry Levine aka STILES from Teen Wolf, and Staci Keanan who had just come off a legendary run as the girl with My Two Dads.

Watch out for that Heather Locklear. She is going places. Maybe even rehab! Ouch, too soon?

There are many things I have accomplished of which I am proud. Running five marathons. Completing two Tough Mudders. Reading at least 52 books a year. Watching every episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Yeah, I said it. There have been a lot of episodes so it’s not as easy as it looks. I’ve been there for the She by Sheree fashion show with no fashions (how dreadful!),  Nene’s alter ego photo shoot, and Deshawn’s charity events for her amazing foundation for, uh, girls. I’ve seen babies born and couple divorce (I was DEVASTATED when I saw departed Howive and acclaimed business woman Lisa Wu-Hartwell had broken up with her hot hubby Ed!), and I am only TOO excited for when Phaedra Parks, the esteemed lawyer to such stars as stand up citizen Bobby Brown, opens up her funeral home.

She really needs more girls!

Well, then, color me shocked when I read today that Kim Zolciak is pregnant yet again! And by shocked I mean not at all. This is her fourth child overall and second one with her husband Kroy Biermann, an NFL football player who is 7 years her junior. We devoted fans always are amazed at this because Kim claims to be 33 but really looks about 48. And a hard 48. She has two older daughters from previous relationship/s (I am not one to spread gossip BUT I’ve heard there are two baby daddies though it has not been verified on her wikipedia page, which everyone knows is the bastion of truth. And yes, you read that right, Kim Zolciak has a wikipedia page. Kim whose claim to fame is opening up her legs to Big Poppa and wearing wigs and smoking ciggies.).

I wish Kim and husband’s bank account the best.

Because I DVR 8000 shows a week, I often fall behind. It’s a tough life (I have to work too!).

At any rate, just watched LAST week’s episode of Real Ho’wives of Atlanta. Cynthia needs to dump Peter’s ass STAT. Any man that would treat his wife’s sister the way he treated Malorie deserves to be escorted to the curb. And not the curb in your nice suburban subdivision, how about the curb where the failed Uptown Supper Club sits shuttered.

And Nene! Get back with Gregg! I felt like I was watching an episode of the Cosby Show when Gregg lectured Bryson.

I care too damn much about these people.