Is Cannibalism Okay If You’re Made of Skittles?

Call me crazy, but I always thought cannibalism was kind of a bad thing.

He's crazy too!

He’s crazy too!

It’s more or less something that isn’t encouraged, if you catch my drift. Blame Jeffrey Dahmer.  If it DOES have to happen, it’s usually because you are a Uruguayan rugby player whose plane crashed in the Andes, a la Ethan Hawke in Alive, my favorite movie in eighth grade,

Ethan Hawke, mastering the art of looking homeless while rich for 20 years.

Ethan Hawke, mastering the art of looking homeless while rich for 20 years.

So that’s why I’m horrified by the new Skittles commercial, which I’ve caught a few times while watching the Red Sox on TV, pretty much the whole time I view programming live.

If you haven’t seen the commercial, it’s quite alarming in its cavalier attitude towards eating people. A couple of seemingly popular girls observe from afar their classmate Louis, who they note never smiles. One of the girls goes over to him and tickles the back of his neck, which causes him to grin. And, well, just watch for yourself.

Bish please. You’ve left Louis with one Skittle tooth! Let’s just hope Walter White is his chem teacher because he might as well settle into his long life as a newly minted meth addict.

And for those of you who think I’m overreacting, let us all remember poor Gingy in Shrek. 

Eek!

Eek!

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