My world has been SHATTERED!

No, I did not found out that Darth Vader is my father, but close.

Sorry Luke!

Tom Selleck was supposed to be Indiana Jones!

I KNOW. I’m confused too!

Apparently this is widely known, but perhaps I buried it deep in my subconscious because I couldn’t handle the truth.

Basically, Selleck was tapped to play Indiana in Raiders of the Lost Ark, but he had to pull out because he was too busy being a stud on Magnum, P.I. 

Director Steven Spielberg, impressed by Harrison Ford’s performance as equally studly Han Solo, urged producer George Lucas to cast him instead.

I get it.

Now, I LOVED Han Solo as a kid. Damn, I was jealous of that bitch Princess Leia. Not only did she have great hair, she got to declare her affection for Han!

Damn he’s a cocky bastard! He must have spent his 20s as an investment banker in New York City.

At any rate, I think I will survive. As long as I don’t find out Charlie Hunnam has quit 50 Shades of Grey.

Oh sh–.