Rich People Are Not Like Us

Do you ever wake up in the morning and go, Gee whiz! It SURE would be nice to go over to my supermodel neighbor’s villa adjoining mine and have a nice class of OJ and a plate of organic pancakes for breakfast?

Not THIS OJ, silly.

Not THIS OJ, silly.

And while I ponder between chocolate chip or blueberry hot cakes fresh off the griddle, my fantasy is shattered when the train that runs by my apartment building rushes past, causing my cup of cheap coffee to spill. I don’t even have paper towels to clean the mess up, because they weren’t on sale this week. Thank God for the toilet paper my parents brought me in bulk the last time they visited.

Now, the purpose of this story is not to make you give me money (though you can if you want), it’s to illustrate how different George Clooney, Cindy Crawford, and her husband Rande Gerber are from me.

Whatever, my friends are cooler.

Whatever, my friends are cooler.

For example, this month Cindy and Rande pose on the cover of Architectural Digest to talk about their Mexican vacation home–called a “villa” in rich people language. And guess what? It just HAPPENS to be next door to George’s villa! How convenient!

It gets worse.

The trio named the compound Casamigos – “House of Friends” – and the longtime close pals, who launched a tequila company of the same name, use the structures accordingly.

“Our lives go back and forth,” Crawford, 47, tells the magazine. “We’ll have cocktails at our place and dinner at George’s, and vice versa.”

This is the time I need to step it up in my quest to become George’s next girlfriend. I am totally fine with the two year contract that past lady friends including Stacy Keibler, Elisabetta Canalis, and Sarah Larson have signed. Heck, I’ll take six months. Even a week! I’m due for a vacation in Mexico.

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