Sorry lovers of big fake boobs and orange tans! JWoww is off the market!

Those Jersey Shore girls sure are growing up fast. First Snooki gave birth while I bought vegetables, and now Jenni “JWoww” Farley’s long term Oompa Loompa boyfriend Roger Mathews asked for her hand in holy matrimony.

Such a tasteful dresser, always.

Previous to getting engaged, J Woww explained what she wanted from her man:

“I just want a big ring. That’s all I care about – a big ring.”

Such class! I am sure they will spends lots of time in the spray tan booth together. That’s love.

Hopefully Pauly D is on the Jersey Shore love train (choo choo!) because I’d be willing to go out with him since he’s a just a nice Italian boy from Rhode Island. We could drink Del’s Frozen Lemonade together while snacking on stuffed quahogs!