Hey kidz-

Wow, the Emmys are over. Don’t know if you heard but I made like a million predictions last night and about half of them were right. But I don’t have time to review them at the moment because I have to eat before I go to work, and I want bacon and eggs which means I have to cook it. We’ll do the postmortem later.

But quick let’s talk about all the sh–I learned last night.

1) Aaron Paul loves his fiancee.

You couldn’t even shave for the Emmys?

Aaron Paul, 33, is going the Ryan Reynolds route by marrying a woman nearly a decade younger than him. And he LOVES HER! She’s the best woman in the world! She founded an anti-bullying group! Gag me with a spoon! Can’t it be enough, Aaron, that you won an Emmy for your “craft” in Breaking Bad? I was watching the Emmys alone, live tweeting, and eating frozen Brussel sprouts from Trader Joe’s. That might be sadder than being a meth dealer.

2) It was hot.

Those red carpet interviewers know how to address the real problems in the world. It was hot in California in September! Boo f—ing hoo. As my good friend Selena Coppock tweeted, “I wonder who’s suffering through worse heat: the celebs on the#Emmys red carpet or our servicemen & women in Afghanistan?”

3) I need to watch Homeland, Breaking Bad, and Downtown Abbey. 

Plus Sons of Anarchy, but that wasn’t nominated for an Emmy. When the f— will I have time? Plus there’s like a 2 year waiting list for the DVDs at the library! Wah wah wah!

That’s all for now. Talk soon!