Sure, he may be Abe Lincoln now. But who the HELL did want to be freed by Daniel Day-Lewis back in 1992?
Will you PLEASE FIND ME NOW???
Damn girl, I am getting all hot inside. Let’s review the famous scene that I was not allowed to see because The Last of the Mohicans was Rated R and I was a mere eighth grader when the movie was released. Though my Catholic mom did let me see The Crying Game which came out that same year. Explain that bullsh– to me!
Because Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman might get back together! Phew!
Zena Sherman and Louie De Palma . . . Class Couple from the cast of Taxi
Just two months after they announced that they were separating after 30 years of marriage, my heart has healed because Danny announced that they are “working” on their relationship. I believe in God again!
The only thing that could possibly make me happier is if they resurrect the tv show The Tortellis. A girl can dream!
Foreigner once pleaded that they want to know what love is. They just have to look at the picture above.
Oh my Christmas is coming! Christmas is coming! As a single adult of a certain age, my wish list is LAME. I asked my mother not even for clothes, jewelry, or electronic appliances. I asked for Key Food grocery store gift certificates. A girl’s gotta eat, the economy is tough, and online dating is way too much work.
Now, I have another sort of wish list that is designed specifically for my rabid fans over at The DVR Files. Christmas TV movies! Now, don’t get me wrong. I love a little Charlie Brown’s Christmas (currently next in line on my DVR!), I appreciate my stop motion animation just like the next girl (Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Jack Frost, I’m talking to you!), but perhaps my favorite Christmas TV movie of all time is the 1986 version of Babes in Toyland starring Drew Barrymore, the dad from Empty Nest (Richard Mulligan, for dorks who don’t know this), and the always sexy KEANU REEVES.
All I want for Christmas is Keanu Reeves in my bed.
Babes was first broadcast on December 19, 1986 on NBC. My parents taped it for me on their Toshiba VCR (which honest to God lasted 22 years. They don’t make them like they used to!) and I watched the HELL out of that VHS over the next three years. Now, I didn’t understand that warm tingly feeling I got in my stomach when watching Jack Nimble (Keanu’s character) onscreen, but I knew I LIKED it. And then my brother recorded Flight of the Navigator over the tape and the dream was over.
Lucky for us, Keanu went on to a long and successful career (Johnny Mnemonic, anyone?). However, my heart is broken every year because they never rerun Babes in Toyland during the holiday season. So instead I just watch some of Keanu’s early work, like at the Canadian International Teddy Bear Convention. Please click this and watch it as you will die a little, in a good way.
This is the man responsible for this hot mess of a family.
Just like his children he hangs out with kool people (not!)
For all of you who were mere toddlers in 1994, that’s the late Robert Kardashian, one time O.J. Simpson friend and defense lawyer–hey, you never know when they’ll come in handy!-who spawned Kourtney, Kim, Khloe, and Rob with that gem of an ex-wife, Kris Jenner.
Pshaw, Khloe totally comes from a different dad.
Now, Robert passed away in 2003 after battling esophageal cancer. That really stinks. And I mean that. I would be a mess if my father died.
However, if my father did pass way (I better f—ing knock on wood STAT), I would try to honor his legacy. I would maybe not swear in my blog for a week. I’d run a marathon in his memory.
What I would NOT do is make a sex tape or, I don’t know, tweet about my girlfriend banging 20 other dudes. But that’s just me.
But luckily for the world, that’s NOT Rob Kardashian. Rob, the least bankable of all the Katrashians, took to Twitter yesterday and blasted his girlfriend (but not for long!) Rita Ora who is apparently a British pop singer I’ve never heard of for being a big giant ho.
Rob explains as only a gentleman can do, over a series of tweets (that have since been erased):
When a woman cheats on you with one man I can live with that. People make mistakes, trust me. I have forgiven numerous times . . . But when a woman disrespects herself by messing with more than 20 men all while being in a relationship with a Faithful man . . . I just don’t get how a woman can do that to her body (hey, ask one of your sisters!). And your career hasn’t even launched yet. I don’t put up with sloppiness. LOYALTY.
He goes on and on and it’s too rich. He later on issued a denial-via Twitter of course-explaining, “But never called anyone specific a whore and said any names. You all did.”
And that’s how I came to follow Rob on Twitter. Can’t wait!
Man. The 1980s were a great time for sidekicks with weird names.
On one hand you had Theo’s bestie Cockroach on The Cosby Show.
Like a ‘roach, I never go away!
On the other hand you had Mike Seaver’s friend named Boner. Well, sometimes you used both hands with him.
Growing Pains indeed!
Sadly, Andrew Koenig, the actor who played Boner, committed suicide in 2010. Yes, I know how to keep the mood light.
Of course, none of these men can replace my favorite friend of all time . . . Peter from The Cosby Show. Rudy was one lucky girl!
Squeal!
So . . . anyone watch Dateline on Friday? Anyone else have dirty, dirty thoughts about convicted murderer Ryan Ferguson?
He looks like a college football player not a murderer.
On the episode Under a Killing Moon (of course), Dateline examined a case from eleven years ago where a popular newspaperman from Columbia, Missouri was murdered on Halloween 2001. Years later, a young man named Charles Erickson confessed to the crime and implicated his friend Ferguson. Ferguson was convicted and sentenced to forty years in prison.
Now–after watching the episode I truly believe Ryan Ferguson is innocent and I hope he is released. He is caught up in a nightmare of epic proportions and I truly feel for his family. No snark there.
HOWEVER, I kept watching the episode and had all sorts of dirty thoughts about Ryan. Those big lips, those blue eyes . . . I can understand why ladies correspond with inmates now. I’ll wait for him when he gets out of prison!
Anyway–I guess you could say this is a guilty pleasure? Or would it be false incriminated pleasure? Who the hell knows.
Confesh: I don’t watch The Bachelor. I KNOW. Considering I watch so much other trashy tv–I still miss I Love New York on VH1 and I will never be able to get over the fact that Jennifer Hudson is now engaged to one of the rejects from that show-you would think I’d treat The Bachelor like going to church: with reverence and mandatory attendance on a weekly basis.
From VH1 reality show to the arm of J. Hudson. I’d say Punk is moving on up!
But alas, I don’t. However, I read enough People magazine to know what’s up with nearly all the alums from the show, so you can imagine how I scratched my head when I saw who 14th season Bach star Jake Pevelka is currently dating . . . Kristin Chenoweth.
Stranger things have happened, like a man has walked on the moon.
Now, I will give Jake some points. He’s 34 and dating a woman 10 years older (Chenowith is 44, if you’re too lazy to do the math). So that’s cool. But I don’t know, Pavelka seems like the type of dude who would troll college frat parties to find available women. I shouldn’t speculate, I know, because I don’t want to get arrested for slander or libel, but just look at how smug he is!
Anyway, mazel tov? Who the hell knows these days.
Damn girl, Tay Tay is quickly becoming the Demi Moore of the tween set.
Gap ad or real people? Who the hell knows.
Just a month after she broke up with high school student Conor Kennedy, 22-year-old Taylor Swift is now dating ANOTHER teenager. This time it’s 18-year-old English singer Harry Styles from the band all kids supposedly like, One Direction.
I can’t blame him for dating Swift. He needs someone to buy him booze in the USA, and she’s rich and can buy the good sh–. No Carlo Rossi jug wine for her! I bet she bathes in Grey Goose.
Oh, Mouse Trap! Which kid did not BEG for that board game from Santa in 1987? Jewish kids, that’s who, because they asked for it from Hanukkah Harry instead! Zing!
The only time I was cool with rodents.
The best part about Mouse Trap, of course, is that you never ever played it, because it was too much work to set up. So instead you played Bed Bugs, as long as you had two “C” batteries!
Ah, mice and bed bugs. My two favorite things about living in New York City!
Okay let’s cut to the chase. This post has zero to do with television. Oopsy daisy. But I couldn’t help but wondering if my buddy Joe still worked in a button factory!
So pretty!
Joe was so busy pushing buttons I wonder if he ever had time for his wife and three kids!
Let’s ask him!
The DVR Files 