Tori Spelling Has Been the Worst Since 1996, According to Me

I am such a great person today, that I bet you all wonder if I was always so great. The answer is yes. Of course I was. Duh.


Double duh.

In addition to being great for the past million years, I’ve also been consistent in my world view:

I’ve always hated Tori Spelling.


Let me explain.

I was home visiting my parents a couple of weeks ago and I decided to dig around the vault for records of my genius. I found several super cute pictures, newspaper clippings, etc. And then I found an article I wrote for my high school paper in 1996. It is a true sign of the brilliant journalist/blogger/social observer I would become nearly 20 years later.

photo (21)

Confesh: I didn’t remember the “fence around the pool” speech either. So I did what any self-respecting investigative journalist would do. I went to youtube!

Unlike other self-respecting investigative journalists, my computer is totally f#$%ed up and I can’t hear sound, so I have no way of actually listening to the above clip to confirm if it is indeed the “fence around the pool” speech. Oh well! It’s like a game of pop culture Russian Roulette! Let’s hope I don’t pull a Scott Scanlon special!

Too soon?


This entry was posted in And Not a Single F--- Was Given and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

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