Life is really hard right now. I gave up Candy Crush for Lent and all I can think about is candy!
Granted, I can still eat it, but it’s not the same! My sister’s getting married this summer. I am the maid of honor, and everyone knows that I need to look better than anyone because it’s all about me, the middle child who is single. So it’s a lot of going to the gym, eating well, blah blah blah.
So you can imagine my absolute horror/excitement/shame/fear when I walked into my corner bodega and saw THESE on the candy shelf.
Yes, you read that right. Butterfinger Peanut Butter Cups. Oh f—ing God. This is not good.
It’s such a brilliant invention but so terrible at the same time. In my mind it’s like a Nestle Butterfinger was dating a Hershey Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, but then Papa Hershey Bar got really pissed at this inter-brand dating of his daughter Reese and that slick-talking Butterfinger, so he broke them up. Mama Nestle Crunch got all defensive, and she decided, F— that! And then gave birth to a Butterfinger Peanut Butter Cup to prove that Hershey did not have the exclusive on the miniature chocolate/peanut butter combo.
F— Candy Crush! I should have just have given up candy instead!
Thanks God for Weight Watcher meetings.