Hell is reserved for many people. Murderers, people who have never heard of The Princess Bride, the inventor of SnackWell’s Devil Food’s Cookie Cakes . . . you know, the usual suspects.
And then there are those people who live at the lowest level of Dante’s Inferno (or it circle? No one actual reads Inferno.). You know who I’m talking about. They are usually famous, rich, and beautiful. When asked how they stay in shape, they reply:
“I chase my kids around all day!”
And possible the worst ever, usually men:
“I have lots of sex!”
Groan. I just can’t. And it’s heart-breaking when someone I otherwise adore utters this statement. In this case I am talking about the man formerly known as Khal Drogo, Jason Momoa.
In a recent interview with People Magazine while promoting his new TV show The Red Road which I DVR but have yet to watch, Momoa was asked said question, and replied, ahem, “The way I stay in shape is by having lots of sex.”
Ugh, Jason! I like you in so many ways. You’re a super hot 34-year-old married to 46-year-old Lisa Bonet, the cool Cosby kid. You look like a hot, slightly cleaned up version of writer David Foster Wallace (casting agents for any future DFW biopics: you’re welcome).
Saying you stay fit by banging is the ultimate most awful humble brag because it doubles as a conceited brag. First of all you are bragging that you are banging all the time. “Guess what!” you say. “Not only am I hot and rich, I also have lots of sex! What do you do all day, Liz?” Second of all it’s a LIE. I can understand your abs looking fab because of the plank like positions you might pull in bed, but I highly doubt Jason doesn’t lift weights to get his arms looking like that.
All that said, I still love him. Mostly because of the Lisa Bonet thing and his hot version of David Foster Wallace. Plus he was awesome and wore glasses on Conan so we’ve got that in common.