Okay, I know it’s not really TV-related PER SE, but I am about to announce a state of emergency so I figured it was worthy of a blog spot.

Where the F— are my Girl Scout Cookies?

Give me 18 boxes of Tagalongs, 14 of Samoas, and 92 of Do-Si-Dos. Heck, throw in 38 boxes of Trefoils too.

One of the problems about living in a big city is that Girl Scouts don’t go door to door selling those boxes of edible gold. Nope, YOU have to find them. And honestly, when you’re busy eating, sleeping, watching TV, Internet dating, and WORKING (BOO!) like I am, who the F— has TIME to hunt down Girl Scout cookies!

I remember growing up in the suburban mecca called North Andover, Massachusetts where they day our Brownie leaders handed out those Girl Scout Cookie order sheets it was a free for all worthy of Lord of the Flies where little girls dressed up in brown uniforms hunted the streets and pounded the pavement hoping to manipulate the little grandmothers and lonely widowers into buying 10 boxes each of Thin Mints or Samoas. And then you had those kids whose moms actually worked and brought their order form into their office and they won all the prizes because they sold 800 boxes (You know who you are.). Man, I HATED those kids back in the day because they would win a fancy stop watch as a prize while I received a lame patch.

Now, I want one of those mothers around me. I NEED COOKIES!

Girl Scout Cookies have evolved with the times. Now they even make a gluten-free cookie. Chocolate Chip Shortbread. Yup, that’s its lame name. But it looks DELISH.

Nom nom nom.

Someone, please, give me some cookies STAT!