I grew up in Massachusetts which is just one of the many great things about me. The others include:

Having great taste in music and comedy.

I can’t decide what to listen to first! They’re all so brilliant!

My membership in the Marshmallow Peeps Fan Club.

Since 2002, hookers!

Being mind-blowingly beautiful.

Too hot for TV!

When you live such an amazing, charmed life such as I do, sometimes God has to punish you in really mean ways. Today it is snow, which means I have leave earlier to get to work, which means I probably won’t have time to make my usual breakfast of bacon, eggs, and avocado. Gosh, life is so unfair!

Snow in New York only looks this pretty on Instagram.

I am extremely jealous of my teacher friends and all elementary school students across the Northeast today. They get to stay home and watch game shows all day! You know I’d be parking my ass in front of the TV and do nothing but devour The Price is Right and dream about spinning the big wheel or winning an expensive ass car I have no need for like this hot bitch!

It’s a long clip but what do you care? You don’t have to go to school.

What was your favorite thing to do on a snow day?