Do you ever wake up in the morning and say to yourself, “I should not know this.”

For example . . .

I should not know that Kanye wants to GET HOME NOW.

Never gets old!

I should not know that Jon Hamm packs heat ALL THE TIME.

Oh hello.

And I should not know the name of Tiger Woods’ girlfriend from 2000.

Joanna Jagoda.

Yup, I know that. It’s a fact I carry around in my head all the time. I can’t get rid of it even if I try. IT’S ALWAYS THERE.

That said, it got me thinking. Tiger certainly has a type, at least for the women he publicly acknowledges he dates/bangs. They’re all blonde and beautiful!

His mistresses, however, can be brunette, like diner waitress Mindy Lawton.

For example, we have Joanna, who you saw above.

We also have his ex-wife Elin Nordegren, who was publicly humiliated by that douche in a big way but has emerged a class act. A really rich class act-she reportedly scored a $100 million settlement from Tiger after their divorce.

I don’t get it either.

Tiger’s latest piece is Olympic skiier Lindsey Vonn who is, surprise, a blonde.

So exotic looking.

Why anyone would want to date him is beyond me. Yeah, I get that he’s rich and famous, but Lindsey is accomplished in her own right.

In an interview with Katie Couric, Lindsey explains it all. Tiger’s funny, y’all. He’s “dorky-goofy,” y’all.

Unless that’s code for “bangs lots of busted women who are not his wife,” I’m going to take Lindsey’s description with a SLIGHT grain of salt.