Tiger Woods Certainly Has a Type

Do you ever wake up in the morning and say to yourself, “I should not know this.”

For example . . .

I should not know that Kanye wants to GET HOME NOW.

Kim Kardashian new mom

Never gets old!

Never gets old!

I should not know that Jon Hamm packs heat ALL THE TIME.

Maybe Jon Hamm is his role model. A girl can dream!

Oh hello.

And I should not know the name of Tiger Woods’ girlfriend from 2000.

She's a blonde. What a shock!

Joanna Jagoda.

Yup, I know that. It’s a fact I carry around in my head all the time. I can’t get rid of it even if I try. IT’S ALWAYS THERE.

That said, it got me thinking. Tiger certainly has a type, at least for the women he publicly acknowledges he dates/bangs. They’re all blonde and beautiful!

His mistresses, however, can be brunette, like diner waitress Mindy Lawton.

His mistresses, however, can be brunette, like diner waitress Mindy Lawton.

For example, we have Joanna, who you saw above.

We also have his ex-wife Elin Nordegren, who was publicly humiliated by that douche in a big way but has emerged a class act. A really rich class act-she reportedly scored a $100 million settlement from Tiger after their divorce.

I don't get it either.

I don’t get it either.

Tiger’s latest piece is Olympic skiier Lindsey Vonn who is, surprise, a blonde.

So exotic looking.

So exotic looking.

Why anyone would want to date him is beyond me. Yeah, I get that he’s rich and famous, but Lindsey is accomplished in her own right.

In an interview with Katie Couric, Lindsey explains it all. Tiger’s funny, y’all. He’s “dorky-goofy,” y’all.


Unless that’s code for “bangs lots of busted women who are not his wife,” I’m going to take Lindsey’s description with a SLIGHT grain of salt.

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