Ryan Lochte is the New Nancy Kerrigan

Jeah! This ain’t right.

Hey girl, want to come over and wear shoes?

Busy dreaming of Liz.

No, America’s classiest swimmer DID not all of a sudden convert to being a graceful silver and bronze-medal Olympic figure skater.

But his knee was hurt by a VERY zealous person.

Too soon?

Too soon?

Fun loving criminals Shane Shant and Steve Gillooly did not come out of retirement, but this time around it was a crazy ass teenager who did the deed, though I doubted she plotted with Tonya Harding.

I miss this broad!

I miss this broad!

You see, a VERY excited teen fan was so overcome with enthusiasm in Florida when she saw Lochte that she ran into his arms.  What would Ryan Lochte do, you ask? Well, being strong and hot, he caught her, but then they fell.

Jeah! Never gets old.

Unfortch, I don’t have a pic of their descent, so here is Ryan’s toso instead. You’re welcome.

The girl was uninjured, but unfortunately Ryan hit his left knee on the curb hard, suffering a torn MCL and an ACL sprain. That actually stinks pretty hard core, as he has to take a break from training and competing. Luckily it’s the Winter Olympics that are coming up and not the Summer ones!

Ryan, you might be dumb as a box of straw, but I will be happy to nurse you back to health!

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