Sad news for people who really married wanted to marry someone from the MTV reality show Laguna Beach.

That’s no Lake Cochichewick.

They’re all off the market!

First Kristen Cavallari married quarterback Jay Cutler earlier this year after popping out son Camden.

He looks more like a fantasy football player than a Chicago Bear.

Then yesterday Jason Wahler married some model named Ashlee Slack.

Only 26, but he already aspires to be George Hamilton.

Lauren “LC” Conrad, clearly jealous that her former fling Wahler beat her to the alter, decided to get engaged! Today she announced on her blog that her boyfriend, law student William Tell (yup), popped the question. She said yes. Phew!

I wonder if they will play the William Tell Overture at their wedding.

Talan already got engaged over the summer.

Ugh, what does an aspiring Southern California socialite have to DO to find a former reality star to marry? Do I need to take a trip to Orange County to see if the Real Housewives have any available sons? Hope not!