Damn you Orange is the New Black! You introduced yet another sexual fantasy to my repertoire that I will probably never fulfill.

Prison guard/prisoner.

Behave or else I will handcuff you.

I’m only five episodes into the hit Netflix series Orange is the New Black, but the sexual tension building up between Officer John Bennett and inmate Daya Diaz recalls a certain hit by rapper Nelly. Yes, it IS getting hot in herre! While so far I’ve only seen them swap notes and tobacco juice, the foreshadowing leads me to believe that the above gif is indeed fact not fiction. I have eight more episodes to figure out if my prediction is correct!

I’m really jealous of Daya, portrayed by actress Dascha Polanco.  Officer Bennett (played by actor Matt McGorry) is super hot but also nice, shy, and patriotic (he references having served in the armed forces). Swoon!

He looks like he goes to church on Sundays.

In real life, pre-Orange Matt had the male equivalent of being too pretty for roles–he was deemed too muscular and was only getting cast as hunky frat boys (another one of my fantasies).

Arrest me anytime.

So he dropped the weight and voila! He’s a big star!

I’m totally going to tweet this to him because with a last name like McGorry, he’s at least half Irish (the other half looks Italian. Bellissimo!) just like I am and he was probably raised Catholic and that would make my mom really happy. Plus I do CrossFit and we can lift weights together. PERFECT.