I am SO excited that the Royal Baby is a boy, because he can marry my niece Charlotte, who is 5 weeks old today. Who doesn’t like an older woman?

This guy sure does! Oh wait . . . .

And while the RB is super cute, I know quite a few babies that exceed him in the adorbs department. And I’m not just talking my niece.

Nope, I’m talking about the f—ing Muppet Babies!

If interspecies is your thing . . . .

The Muppet Babies are related to the late great Jim Henson, so you know they have some money in the bank. Unlike RB, who has a title and everything, but I’ve seen Downton Abbey, these old aristocratic families are ALWAYS having to downsize.

And if they don’t work out, you could always try the Flintstone Kids. They probably invented the wheel so there is probably a trust fund somewhere.