Happy 7-Eleven!

Today is the greatest day in the world.

What, did George Clooney pick me out to be his latest piece since he recently ended his two year contract with Stacy Keibler?

I'm WAY prettier?

I’m WAY prettier.

Nope, that’s not it, though I am in the right age range.

Did Justin Guarini and Kelly Clarkson FINALLY have a baby together?

They looked so happy together!

He wants to know where she gets her hair straightened.

Boohoo, not that either. What could it be???

Ummmmm . . . how about that it is 7-11 and that means one thing . . . Slurpee time!

Oh f--- yes. Though mine never look that neat.

Oh f— yes. Though mine never look that neat.

I have been celebrating 7-11 since 2000 by going to, you’ve got it, a 7-Eleven. While these days they do offer a free small Slurpee from 11a-7p, you bet your ass that’s not a truly respectful way to celebrate my favorite holiday besides Guy Fawkes Day.

Mark your calendar for November 5 and get all your burning effigy supplies ready!

Mark your calendar for November 5 and get all your burning effigy supplies ready!

Nope, I go CRAZY on 7-11. I buy a LARGE Slurpee and usually a snack or two. In the past it’s been a Buffalo Chicken Roller, but over the last couple of years 7-Eleven has really expanded their menu so it’s a much tougher decision. I could get wings or pizza or a Jalapeno Cream Cheese Taquito! If I want to go fresh I can choose an Apple Walnut Chicken Salad or the brand new Cilantro Lime Flatbread or a Yoplait Yogurt Parfait! And that’s not even COUNTING the excellent deals they have on your run of the mill products like Red Bull, Kraft Easy Mac Cup (Triple Cheese!) or Kraft Jet Puffed Marshmallows! What’s a girl to do? Buy all of them?

Yes I am.


Yes. Of course.

So please go out and celebrate. I don’t care if you are working or on vacation or whatever excuse you may make. You think my brother Andrew and I let a trip to the Hamptons in 2011 get in our way of sipping a big ass Slurpee?

Hell no!

Hell no!

After all, there are more 7-Elevens worldwide than there are McDonald’s. My only regret is that 7-Eleven does not make commercials anymore. Look at this gem from 1980. I definitely think the ad exec who created the Geico Cavemen campaign was heavily influenced by this piece of art.

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