My first foray into online dating was (-) years ago via the always reliable Craigslist. I opened it up under a fake email account for which I can no longer remember the user name and password (this was in the yahoo mail days) so I can’t recall the EXACT words I used, but it went something like this:

I want a man who likes beer, meat, and sports. I wear glasses and I like Harry Potter so I give off a librarian vibe but I’m a fun librarian. Hahahahaha.

That should work to attract the most awesome men, right?

I’m also good with the Shake Weight. Will that help?

The answer, of course, is no, it won’t work. I did get a request for a sexy librarian jpeg (I said fun librarian! I could take a picture of me reading Madame Bovary but I don’t think that’s what you mean) and an offer for a “meathead like myself to f— your brains out.” Ew, gross. I wasn’t even on Casual Encounters, and plus you don’t want to f— the brains out of me. It’s kind of what I have working in my favor. At any rate, the lesson learned is if you want a man who likes beer, meat, and sports, DON’T go on Craigslist Women Seeking Men, go to the Stanton Social in New York City.

Why, you ask? Well, because Alex Skarsgard, the mean vampire turned nice bloodsucker on True Blood (I think, they’re always switching alliances Sopranos-style), likes to hang out there. And while his yuppie friends chose vegan and gluten-free dishes, Skarsgard was 100% man: “all about the meat and beer” according to one onlooker. He even ordered a Brooklyn Lager, which is one of my faves! We TOTALLY belong together.

I would just ask that he grow a LITTLE hair on his chest.

I’m not sure how much longer Skarsgard will be in NYC, so hopefully we will bump into each other. Otherwise, I will just have to watch him on True Blood beginning on June 16, when the sixth season premieres. Sigh. Life is so unfair.