Let’s be honest here. I am sure Beyonce is a nice person. I want to be her friend. She’s rich and pretty and can buy anything she wants. How awesome is that!

Even without makeup she looks good. Bitch.

However, there are a few things that annoy me about her. One, the accent in her name, and not only because I don’t know how to type it. See, she has it over the second “e” in her name, which indicates that you’d pronounce it Be-yon-SAY. But how many people do you know call her that? No one. We all say Be-YON-say. Ugh. If you’re going to pretend you’re French, Bee, at least get the spelling right.

Now, a couple of the other things that bug me about her is how she will never admit that Jay-Z is her husband. We get it, you’re pretending to be private! But come on, who wouldn’t be proud to call a man that says he has 99 problems but a b#$%& ain’t one her betrothed! What a hard knock life you lead.

This last part is where I’m spreading unfounded gossip. What a jerk face I am! At any rate–remember about a year and a half ago when Beyonce and Jessica Simpson were preggers at the same time? Jessica was expecting for what felt like 10 years, which made think she was going to give birth to a manatee (I hear they have long gestation periods). On May 1, 2012, however, she gave birth to a daughter named Maxwell Drew.

Beyonce announced HER pregnancy in August of 2011, in the most subtle way possible: at the 2011 MTV Video Music Awards in front of 12.4 million viewers. And then before you knew it, Blue Ivy came along in January!

I will admit she is very darn cute!

Don’t get me wrong. Blue Ivy is ADORABLE and I am sure Beyonce and Jay-Z love her more than anything in the world. But the pregnancy always felt just a tad suspicious. Be never seemed to gain that much weight. She rented out a whole floor of the hospital. It’s enough for a conspiracy theorist to go hmmmmmm.

And now there are rumors that Beyonce could be pregnant AGAIN! But as usual, she won’t confirm them. Her tour finishes up in August so some people say she’ll wait till then to hire a baby carrier  get knocked up. Who the heck knows? But we should start the countdown now to the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards which are in Brooklyn in August. She just MIGHT have a big announcement….