I’ve been following Laura Jeanne “Reese” Witherspoon’s career since 1991, when she starred in the movie The Man in the Moon (not to be confused with Man ON the Moon, the Andy Kaufman biopic starring Jim Carrey). Set in 1957, Reese played a 14-year-old Southern girl (big stretch for the 14-year-old Southern girl) who developed a HUGE crush on her new neighbor Court, played by Jason London. But then Court got run over by a tractor and died. So sad.

If all of our first kisses could look like this!

Reese went on to star in a series of illustrious movies such as Jack the Bear, S.F.W., and my personal favorite Fear with Mark Wahlberg, who truly felt the vibration when he fingered Reese on a roller coaster.

Flash forward 15+ years, and now Reese is a mom! a wife! an Oscar winner! And, of course, a drunk American citizen resisting arrest.

Next time I get pulled over, I am going to assert my right to stand on American soil as an American citizen. That always works!