That Kelly LeBrock was perhaps the most conceited woman to ever walk the planet in the 1980s. “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful,” she haughtily said to us as she bounced her luscious mane around. Bish please. I don’t hate you because you’re beautiful. I hate you because you are vain, married to Steven Seagal for almost ten years, and my hair never looks as good when I use Pantene.

Maybe I’m just bitter because my father never let me watch Weird Science. We rented it from the video store back in the day when I must have been in second grade. As soon as the computer-generated boobs burst onto the screen, my father bolted to the VCR and ejected that VHS out of our Toshiba VCR. Maybe it’s just too soon for me to talk about Kelly LeBrock without being traumatized?