That Jennifer Lopez. Remember when she was catching the subway “on the 6” because she was “Jenny from the block” and needed to get home to her apartment in the Bronx? Nope? Well, no worries, because I think she has blocked her memories of being a mere plebeian too.

Such a tasteful outfit.

Today my copy of People Magazine’s “Most Beautiful People” arrived in the mail–and no, I’m not in it–and a bunch of stars were asked the question “What Have You Learned to Love About Yourself?” Most of the celebs answered in the most bullsh– way, as you can imagine. “My OCD, my persistence, my instincts!” they replied while I rolled my eyes.

But Jennifer Lopez has perfected the art of the humble brag like no other. She explains:

I used to have a problem with my skinny wrists and ankles. Then a makeup artist told me that because of how delicate they were I’d be a really big star.

Wow, just wow. Talent? Ambition? Drive? Pshaw, those things are a WASTE. All you need to make it big in Hollywood, according to J Lo and her makeup artist, are dainty wrists! Because everyone knows that thin is SO not in.

Excuse me while I puke.